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Game-of-thrones

Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?
Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock.

Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel....

Tyrion

Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief that a thousand lying whores.

Tyrion

The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants his enemies drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious c-nts? Where is the god of t-ts and wine?

Tyrion Lannister

Lysa Arryn: You don't fight with honor!
Bronn: No, he did.

Varys: I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror, a dead king, a city under siege.
Tyrion: A wedding.
Varys: Exactly.

A sword swallower through and through.

Olenna

If we do it your way kingslayer, you'd win. We're not doing it your way.

Robb

There are no men like me. Only me.

Jaime
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