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Game-of-thrones

Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?
Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock.

Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel....

Tyrion

The Lord of Light wants his enemies burnt. The Drowned God wants his enemies drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious c-nts? Where is the god of t-ts and wine?

Tyrion Lannister

Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief that a thousand lying whores.

Tyrion

Lysa Arryn: You don't fight with honor!
Bronn: No, he did.

Varys: I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror, a dead king, a city under siege.
Tyrion: A wedding.
Varys: Exactly.

A sword swallower through and through.

Olenna

If we do it your way kingslayer, you'd win. We're not doing it your way.

Robb

Baelish: Do you know what the realm is? It's the thousand blades of Aegon's enemies, a story we agree to tell each other over and over until we forget that it's a lie.
Varys: But what do we have left once we abandon the lie? Chaos, a gaping pit, waiting to swallow us all.
Baelish: Chaos isn't a pit, chaos is a ladder.

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