Jaime: It must be strange for you, coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father, too. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that.
Ned: But you just stood here and watched.
Jaime: Five hundred men stood here and watched. All the great knights of the seven kingdoms. Do you think anyone said a word, lifted a finger? No, Lord Stark, 500 men and this room was silent as a crypt. Except for the screams, of course, and the Mad King laughing. And, later, when I watched the Mad King die, I remembered him laughing as your father burned. It felt like justice.

Ned: Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it.
Jaime: People have been swinging at me for years, they always seem to miss.
Ned: You've chosen your opponents wisely.
Jaime: I have a knack for it.

Everythings better with some wine in the belly.


Tyrion: A bastard boy with nothing to inherit, off to join the ancient order of the Night's Watch. Alongside his valiant brothers in arms.
Jon: The Night's Watch protects the realm from..
Tyrion: Ah, ah, yes, yes,against grumpkins and snarks and all the
other monsters your wet nurse warned you about. You're a smart boy, you don't believe that nonsense.

Tyrion: Ah...rapers. They were given a choice, no doubt. Castration or the Wall. Most choose the knife. Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the Watch. You discard your old family and get a whole new one.
Jon: Why do you read so much?
Tyrion: Look at me and tell me what you see.
Jon: Is this a trick?
Tyrion: What you see is a dwarf. If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years.
Jon: Until your brother killed that King.
Tyrion: Yes, until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new King, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has a sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.

Jaime: Well, even if the boy lives, he'll be a cripple, grotesque. Give me a good, clean death any day.
Tyrion: Speaking for the grotesques, I'll have to disagree. Death is so final. Whereas life, ah life is so full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake, I'd be very interested to hear what he has to say.
Jaime: My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you're on.
Tyrion: My dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family.

Tyrion: The charms of the north seem entirely lost on you.
Cersei: I still can't believe you're going. It's ridiculous, even for you.
Tyrion: Where's your sense of wonder? The greatest structure ever built. The intrepid men of the Night's Watch. The wintry abode of the white walkers.

Joffrey: Better looking bitches than you're used to uncle. My ma's been looking for you. We ride for King's Landing today.
Tyrion: Before we go, you will call on Lord and Lady Stark and offer your sympathies.
Joffrey: What good would my sympathies do them?
Tyrion: None, but it is expected of you. Your absence has already been noted.
Joffrey: The boy means nothing to me. And I can't stand the wailing of women. (Tyrion slaps Joffrey)
Tyrion: One word, and I'll hit you again.
Joffrey: I'm telling mother!
Tyrion: Go, tell her. But first you will get to Lord and Lady Stark and tell them how very sorry you are, that you are at their service and all your prayers are with them. Do you understand?
Joffrey: You can't... (Tyrion slaps him again)
Tyrion: Do you understand?
The Hounds: The prince will remember that, little Lord.
Tyrion: I hope so. If he forgets, be a good dog, and remind him.

Jaime: Quite the little climber, aren't you? How old are you boy?
Bran: Ten.
Jaime. Ten. The things I do for love.

The Hound: Rough night, imp?
Tyrion: If I get through this without scratching from one end through the other, it will be a miracle.

Tyrion: Your uncle's in the Night's Watch.
Jon: What cha doing back there?
Tyrion: Preparing for a night with your family. I've always wanted to see the Wall.
Jon: You're Tyrion Lannister. The Queen's brother.
Tyrion: My greatest accomplishment. And you, you're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you? Did I offend you? Sorry. You are the bastard, no?

Jaime: Don't get up.
Whore: My Lord.
Tyrion: Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother?
Jaime: You have much to teach me, no doubt. But our sister craves your attention.
Tyrion: She has our cravings, our sister.
Jaime: A family trait. The Starks are feasting us at sundown. Don't leave me alone with these people.
Tyrion: Sorry, I've begun the feast a bit early, and this is the first of many courses.
Jaime: I thought you might say that, but since we're short on time...come on girls. See you at sundown.
Tyrion: Close the door!

Game of Thrones Quotes

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

Tyrion Lannister