Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

I'm going to sleep with whoever I have to to prove to my tomorrow I'm not shallow

Allison: Why don't you throw a punch?
Gary: I'm trying but she's not where I'm punching!

Her fist isn't swollen from me beating it... with my face?

Allison: You know how I felt the first time he held his arms around me?
Gary: Were you helping him in or out of the tub?

Allison [about their marriage counselor]: He makes me feel young.
Gary: Of course he does, he's 80!

Allison: Have you noticed that Tommy's afraid of girls?
Gary: He should be afraid of girls. They pretend to like you and then take all your stuff

Hey kids throw away your books, get rid of your toothbrushes you're with Dad now.

Gary: You didn't tell me you were double jointed. At one point I thought I had broken you.
Vanessa: I'm not double jointed, I just didn't want to complain

Second Life, huh? That looks pretty cool. You know when I was a kid, we didn't have anything like that. No, we had outside

Allison: I got a speeding ticket on the way over here.
Gary: You got a speeding ticket? What happened, couldn't your two lady friends get you out of it?!
Allison: Gary, I'm not going to sink to that level.
Gary: Why not? They have!

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 42 in total

Gary Unmarried Quotes

Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

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