Amanda, because of your unspeakable cruelty, I transformed myself from a javelina to the beautiful, powerful Christian woman you see before you today.


It's you and me Carlene. We are going to throw down.


Carlene: Now nobody can call me a hypocrite.
Amanda: Of course you're a hypocrite Carlene. You make us dress like a nun and you look like that.
Carlene: I have been saved. I have a wonderful spiritual husband who likes 'em where he can see 'em.

Well, well, well, Carlene. I think Amanda just out Christianed you.


It was so nice of you to remind my children that their daddy died in a fiery crash.


Gigi: You know it was awfully nice of her to dedicate this song to you.
Amanda: Mother, Jesus Take The Wheel? My husband died in a car crash.

Nothing ever blows over with Carlene. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Displaying all 7 quotes