Lorelai: You know what I was thinking?
Rory: That Madonna and Sean Penn should get remarried?
Lorelai: Besides that.

(On the phone) Dad? (pause) Yeah, it's Lorelai. Who else calls you 'Dad'?

Lorelai

Michel: (Holding a phone) It's for you. He says he's your father, although why he'd volunteer that freely, I don't know.
Lorelai: My father?
Michel: Yes.
Lorelai: Are you sure?
Michel: Please just take the phone.

Lorelai: Oh, my God, you have good handwriting.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You did not get that from me. Your fabulous flair you got from me.
Rory: I also got my deviated septum from you.
Lorelai: Hey, focus on the flair.

(Dancing with one of the grooms) You know, in some countries, if you dance this close, you're cheating on your wife.

Miss Patty

Luke: I thought you were starving.
Lorelai: Things change. Move on.

Lorelai: Wow! Sounds like you really had a good time.
Rory: I did.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Really.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Really.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Okay, new word now.

Rory: (to Lorelai) I'm not hungry. I had a big lunch at the club.
Luke: (walking over) With all the other devastators of our land.
Rory: Luke, I'm really sorry. I didn't know.

Luke, am I mistaken, or did the sign on the door say "open."

Lorelai

Lorelai: What's with the hat?
Rory: Grandma gave it to me.
Lorelai: Oh, now that's just mean.
Rory: It's not that bad.
Lorelai: Do you want a mirror?
Rory: I'm taking it off.

(to Rory) My God. This day, the swans, the tulle, my head. (to Luke) Luke, I need the largest cheeseburger in the world. Let's break a record, Mister.

Lorelai

Emily: I think we should consider getting her a membership at the club, don't you?
Lorelai: If she wants, sure.
Emily: I mean, to have a place to go where she could socialize. That's very important to a young girl.
Lorelai: Well, now, especially that the crack den has closed down on the corner, all her really good friends are gone. What do you think, Mom, should I pursue the career in comedy?

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.

Lorelai: You know what I was thinking?
Rory: That Madonna and Sean Penn should get remarried?
Lorelai: Besides that.