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Luke: Did I mention that Caesar can cook you breakfast?
Lorelai: But he doesn't make the good fluffy pancakes like you do.
Luke: Then order eggs.
Lorelai: No! See, I had a near death experience today.
Luke: Really?
Lorelai: Yes. I almost fell off the roof of my house trying to clean the rain gutters, so I have to have pancakes. Please? I'll help you shower when I become a superhero.

Luke: Just tear up the application, Taylor. I'm not moving.
Taylor: What? Why?
Luke: 'Cause I'm the two-inch grass kind of guy.

(Jess and Luke are searching for an apartment)
Jess: Forget it!
Luke: Why? What was wrong with it?
Jess: It was pink!
Luke: We can paint it.
Jess: You mean I can paint it.
Luke: We can paint it together.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Fine. Which one did you like?
Jess: The one before.
Luke: The one with the two fridges?
Jess: No.
Luke: Well, the one before was the one with two fridges.
Jess: No, the one we saw before was the one with the cat!
Luke: I hate cats!
Jess: Well, I don't think the cat came with the place.
Luke: Yeah, but it had carpeting which means it's always gonna smell like a cat.
Jess: (shrugs) Clean the carpet.
Luke: Paint the pink.
Jess: Fine. The one next to the bank.
Luke: Nah, too many windows.
Jess: What?
Luke: Six windows, all on one side, three o'clock in the afternoon, we're sittin' in an oven.
Jess: So we get curtains.
Luke: Well, you'd have to help me put them up.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Stop saying that!

(referring to Luke) Oh, thirteen different shades of red!

Lorelai

Lorelai: What, did you get all dressed in black and pull a Mission Impossible? Jess: Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.

(about the mess in Luke's apartment) This is what I always pictured the inside of my head to look like.

Lorelai

Lorelai: That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never takes it off, and your stealing it was unbelievably cruel.
Jess: The most precious thing she owns?
Lorelai: Yes.
Jess: If it's the most precious thing she owns, why did it take her two weeks to notice it was gone? You might want to reevaluate how madly in love she is. I wouldn't start calling him son yet.

Luke: I walked around in a blind rage, I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it!
Lorelai: Oh, of course.
Luke: I'm upset not suicidal!

Jess: I gotta go.
Luke: We got three more places to look at.
Jess: I'm supposed to be at Lorelai's in twenty minutes.
Luke: Right.
Jess: I mean, if you want me to bail on her...
Luke: No, go. I'll take some Polaroids of the next few places-
Jess: Take a Polaroid, paint a still picture, do whatever you want.
Luke: Jess.
Jess: Look. No one asked me if I wanted to move to Star's Hollow, but I'm here. So, pick a place, and I'll be there too.

Luke: Can you at least help me look for the papers? Lorelai: Okay. This it? (Picks up supply ledger) Luke: Give it here. Lorelai: Will you make us pancakes? Luke: Give me the book. Lorelai: Give me the pancake! Luke: Come on. Lorelai: Thank you. Luke: Are you sure you weren't pushed off your roof today?

Lorelai: Luke, Rachel isn't the only woman in the world for you. You'll meet someone, someday. Probably at a Timberland store, and you'll ask her out. You'll pick her up, take her on a patented night of Luke Danes romance- juice bar followed by the batting cages- and then, you'll ask her back to your apartment.
Luke: Any amount of money if you stop right now.
Lorelai: You'll bring her back to your place, and lead her upstairs to the apartment door. You pause, gaze into her eyes. The stage is set. Fate is waiting. Then you open the door and she sees your teeny tiny apartment, one room and no closet space, and Jess' feet sticking up in the air because you never did get rid of the body!
Luke: Stop, please!
Lorelai: And to make matters worse, she spots it! The single bed!
Luke: What's wrong with a single bed?
Lorelai: Well, you know what they say.
Luke: No. What do they say?
Lorelai: Never date a guy who owns a single bed. It means he's not open to commitment.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: It says there's no room in this life for anybody but me!
Luke: No, it says there's no room in this bed for anybody but me!
Lorelai: Well, that's not a whole lot better!

Luke: I just spent $100,000 and it's all YOUR fault! (Storms into the house)
Lorelai: Oh. Good. (Follows him)
Luke: I ran into Taylor at the market. I found out he owns the building that apartment was in.
Lorelai: No way!
Luke: (Pacing) That and several other properties all over town.
Lorelai: That is so weird.
Luke: He's systematically buying up the town. He's gonna turn it into Taylorville, where everyone will have to wear cardigans and have the same grass height!
Lorelai: You want to sit...?
Luke: And then he told me he's gonna told he's gonna buy the building next to the diner and turn into a collectible plates shop for freaks who don't have enough brain power to collect stamps! I lost it.
Lorelai: I can't picture that.
Luke: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it!
Lorelai: Of course.
Luke: I'm upset. Not suicidal!
Lorelai: Right.
Luke: I knew I just had to do something and I just heard your voice going round and round in my head.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's kind of like the small world song.
Luke: Take a chance, Luke. Make a move, Luke. You can't have a single bed, Luke! So I bought the building!
Lorelai: You bought...
Luke: I went straight to the bank, signed a cashier's check, and I bought the building!
Lorelai: Wow.
Luke: I am the building's owner!
Lorelai: I heard.
Luke: I own the building!
Lorelai: Okay, don't worry. Maybe you can still get out of it. You can go back there and tell them you lost your mind.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Or I bet you could sell it to Taylor!
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: So relax, you can still get out of this. Unless of course, you don't want to get out of this.
Luke: Oh, I want to get out of this. Why would I not want to get out of this?
Lorelai: Oh, owning that building gives you some options.
Luke: Like?
Lorelai: Like you could expand Luke's if you wanted to...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Or you could rent it to someone else...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Someone else who might drive Taylor crazy...
Luke: Maybe I should think about this.
Lorelai: Yeah, sleep on it.
Luke: Sleep on it. Right.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 23 in total

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 15 Quotes

Mary: Now, I went over the square footage and the details of the lease with your husband this morning. Did he fill you in?
Luke: What? Oh no, we're
Lorelai: No, no, he didn't, but you know how men are. The minute that ball game comes on, all the realities of life just go right out the window.
Mary: Don't I know it.
Lorelai: I mean, I could answer the door wrapped in cellophane but unless I was wearing a Yankees cap. . .ugh, he wouldn't even notice.
Luke: Geez.
Lorelai: Oh, don't be embarrassed Snuffy, I'm just teasing. It'd be a Mets cap.

Luke: I just spent $100,000 and it's all YOUR fault! (Storms into the house)
Lorelai: Oh. Good. (Follows him)
Luke: I ran into Taylor at the market. I found out he owns the building that apartment was in.
Lorelai: No way!
Luke: (Pacing) That and several other properties all over town.
Lorelai: That is so weird.
Luke: He's systematically buying up the town. He's gonna turn it into Taylorville, where everyone will have to wear cardigans and have the same grass height!
Lorelai: You want to sit...?
Luke: And then he told me he's gonna told he's gonna buy the building next to the diner and turn into a collectible plates shop for freaks who don't have enough brain power to collect stamps! I lost it.
Lorelai: I can't picture that.
Luke: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it!
Lorelai: Of course.
Luke: I'm upset. Not suicidal!
Lorelai: Right.
Luke: I knew I just had to do something and I just heard your voice going round and round in my head.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's kind of like the small world song.
Luke: Take a chance, Luke. Make a move, Luke. You can't have a single bed, Luke! So I bought the building!
Lorelai: You bought...
Luke: I went straight to the bank, signed a cashier's check, and I bought the building!
Lorelai: Wow.
Luke: I am the building's owner!
Lorelai: I heard.
Luke: I own the building!
Lorelai: Okay, don't worry. Maybe you can still get out of it. You can go back there and tell them you lost your mind.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Or I bet you could sell it to Taylor!
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: So relax, you can still get out of this. Unless of course, you don't want to get out of this.
Luke: Oh, I want to get out of this. Why would I not want to get out of this?
Lorelai: Oh, owning that building gives you some options.
Luke: Like?
Lorelai: Like you could expand Luke's if you wanted to...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Or you could rent it to someone else...
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Someone else who might drive Taylor crazy...
Luke: Maybe I should think about this.
Lorelai: Yeah, sleep on it.
Luke: Sleep on it. Right.