Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Emily: (about the mashed banana on toast) I used to make this all the time for you when you were a little girl.
Lorelai: You did?
Emily: Yes! Whenever you got sick, I made this.
Lorelai: Are you sure it wasn't the other way around?
Tristan: And she's reading again. How novel.
Rory: Goodbye Tristan.
Tristan: Well did you get the novel thing? Because--
Rory: I said goodbye!
Tristan: What are you doing here?
Rory: I like lines.
Tristan: The guy's supposed to get tickets.
Rory: Really? Does Susan Faludi know about this?
Tristan: Well, unless of course there is no guy.
Rory: No, there's a guy.
Tristan: Yeah, a cheap guy.
Rory: Well what can I say, I like 'em cheap. Sloppy, too. Bald spots, beer gut, you know, and the pants that kind of slip down in the back giving you that good plumber shot. That sends me through the roof.
Tristan: So who is he?
Rory: (sighs heavily) How many languages can you say "none of your business" in?
Tristan: Does he go to this school?
Rory: No, he doesn't.
Tristan: Uh-hunh. Okay well look, I'll confess something to you. I don't have a date.
Rory: Well I hear Squeaky Frome's up for parole soon. You should keep a good thought.
Tristan: Well I actually thought you'd like to go with me.
Rory: You did not.
Tristan: I did too!
Rory: You did not, because you are not stupid!
Tristan: Why, thank you.
Rory: Slimey and weasily yes, but stupid no. You'd have to be stupid to think, that given our history, I would ever, barring a piano or a safe falling on my head, want to go anywhere with you, ever.
Tristan: Okay, fine. I'll take Sissy.
Rory: I'll send her a condolence card.
Tristan: Yeah. Well at least she won't be buying her own ticket.
Dean:He has a thing for you.
Rory:No he doesn't. It's just a game to him or something
Dean:He has a thing for you.
Rory:He does nothing but insult me and make me miserable.
Dean:He has a thing for you.
Emily: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I'm taking out the avocado.
Emily: Since when don't you like avocado?
Lorelai: Since I said "Gross, what is this?" and you said "Avocado".
....(later)...
Emily: What's wrong with the tomato?
Lorelai: It was fraternizing with the enemy.
Emily: "We're in here", that's how you answer the door?
Lorelai: Well, I was all out of Saran wrap.
Emily: I don't even want to try to figure that one out.
(after spraying Rory's hair) Ok, that will be good for 6 slow dances, 4 medium ones, 1 lambada. But if you plan on doing any moshing, I suggest another coat.
Lorelai
Lorelai: (shouting) C'mon already!
Rory: (from in her room) I'm primping!
Lorelai: You're sixteen, you've skin like a baby's ass, there's nothing to primp!
Rory: OK, OK, here I come!
(Rory walks down the hall to Lorelai, looking very lovely in her evening gown)
Lorelai: Wow, someone hit you with a pretty stick!
Emily: (about Dean) What do you know about this boy?
Lorelai: Well, I know Rory likes him, and his parole officer has high hopes for his rehabilitation.
Emily: Does he drink?
Lorelai: Like a fish!
Rory: He's not my boyfriend.
Lane: Really?
Rory: No.
Lane: What is he then?
Rory: He's my...gentleman caller
Lane: Ok, Blanche.
Lorelai: What were you thinking? Staying out all night? Are you CRAZY?
Rory: I'm sorry. It was an accident.
Lorelai: You're talking to the queen of staying out all night, okay? I invented the concept, you cannot do this. Period!
Rory: Nothing happened! We fell asleep!
Emily: Explain this to me right now, Lorelai!
Lorelai: My back hurts. (burrows down in the couch and sticks her lip out)
Sissy: Wanna dance?
Tristan: No.
Sissy: Wanna eat?
Tristan: No.
Sissy: Wanna make out?
Tristan: Sure, let's go.
