Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Luke: It's me Harry, Luke. You've known me since I was 5 years old.
Mayor: Oh, Luke, yes. Sit down.
Tradition is a trap. It allows people to stick their head in the sand. Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn't have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It's a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing.
Luke
Rory: It's Mr. Medina.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: My English teacher is on my couch.
Lorelai: It was the snow. You know how I get, it's like catnip. I was walking, he was there, his car was broken, we had fiesta burgers... it was the snow.
Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses.
Luke
(about Max) Okay, well, if it makes you feel any better, while he's being sexy, he's also being grammatically correct.
Lorelai
Lorelai: Hey do you wanna talk? I'm not Rory, but we do use the same blow dryer.
Lane: I did something really stupid tonight.
Lorelai: Okay, what'd you pierce?
Lane: Nothing. I touched a boy's hair.
Lorelai: Okay.
Lane: A boy I really like.
Lorelai: So far I'm missing the stupid part.
Lane: I kind of did it without his permission.
Lorelai: Now we're getting somewhere.
Lane: I don't know what happened. I mean I was just standing there and then he bends over and his hair falls forward and suddenly it's like my hand has a life of its own.
Lorelai: Sounds like your hand had a little help from your hormones.
Lane: God I was so humiliated! I can't ever go back to school. I'll have to be home schooled, my mother finally gets her way.
Lorelai: Look at it from a different perspective. You have so many years of screw ups ahead of you, view this as a trial run for really grown-up humiliation.
Lane: So not helping.
Lorelai: Maybe you should be a hair-dresser.
Lane: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Yes, it's perfect. Then you can run your hands through anybody's hair you want and they'll pay you for it.
Lane: What am I going to do? Everyone at school is going to be talking about it. I can't show my face.
Lorelai: Everybody does stupid things in high school. It's like a requirement.
Lane: Not like this!
Lorelai: No, some people get pregnant! Talk about something really juicy for the gossip mill.
Lorelai: Sorry I woke you up.
Rory: That's okay, it's all fodder for the tell all.
(to Rory)
Lorelai: Hey Sweets! I have a locksmith coming to the house today like 5ish, and I don't know how long it will take, so will you tell Grandma and Grandpa that I'm gonna be late? And that I'm having Satan's baby? You pick the order.
Rory: I'll relay the time message, but I'm leaving the rest up to you
Lorelai: I feel good. Tingly.
Rory: That's called frostbite
(about Max's message)
Rory: So how many times are you gonna listen to that?
Lorelai: Till it stops being sexy.
Rory: Stop. That's my teacher you're taling about. I have to respect him.
Lorelai: Okay, well if it makes you feel any better, while he's being sexy, he's also being grammatically correct.
Rory: Better. Thank you.
Emily: (talking to Lorelai over the phone) Have you seen the news?
Lorelai: Ever?
Emily: A bad storm is heading your way. It's already hitting us here.
Lorelai: Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark, you get the animals.
(Lorelai's message machine)
Max: Lorelai, it's Max. Medina, Max Medina. And once again we miss each other. It's now 2:00 in the afternoon on Thursday, and I'm in my office grading a paper entitled: Emily Dickinson, Get a Life. Anyhow, as I sit here, losing my faith in mankind, I wonder if we're ever gonna actually go on that date we talked about many moons ago. I teach a night class in Stamford twice a week, and when I pass that Stars Hollow sign on the turnpike, I think: "Out there is a beautiful woman that I someday hope to spend time with." Anyhow, I'm just thinking about you. I don't know, maybe next week we can find some time. Bye, Lorelai...Gilmore. You knew that. Okay, bye.
