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Emily: Why can't we have what you and Rory have?
Lorelai: Rory and I are different, Mom.
Emily: You're mother and daughter, we're mother and daughter, it shouldn't be that much different.
Lorelai: No, Mom, it is completely different.
Lorelai: I grew up in a different environment.
Emily: An oppressive environment?
Lorelai: No, Mom, a different environment, and plus I was so young when I had Rory.
Emily: So just because I waited until I was grown and married to get pregnant, I can't have a relationship with my daughter?
Lorelai: No, it's just...Rory and I are best friends, Mom. We are best friends first, and mother and daughter second, and you and I are mother and daughter all the time.
Emily: I wasn't taught to be best friends with my daughter. I did what I thought was best for you. I did what I thought I needed to do to protect you.
Lorelai: I know.
- Permalink: Why can't we have what you and Rory have? Rory and I are diffe...
I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.Paris
- Permalink: I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.
Lorelai: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage.
Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple not a couple of people.
Emily: It's more efficient this way. We'll both be finished at the same time.
Lorelai: Mom, do you know what most people who get these massages do about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes.
- Permalink: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage. So? A couple...
Rory: I just wanted to thank you.
Luke: For what?
Rory: The care package. It was really sweet.
Luke: What care package?
Jess: Uh, Luke, they're hitting the water line again.
Luke: What? Tom, you are dead. You hear me? Dead! (Goes off)
Jess: Wanna pay?
Rory: Funny, I don't think Luke knew anything about the food last night.
Jess: That'll be $12.50.
Rory: Which means you lied about why you came over.
Jess: I'm out of quarters, I'll have to give you nickels.
Rory: You wanted to come over!
Jess: I gotta get back to work.
Rory: You're squirming. I've never seen you squirm. It's entertaining.
- Permalink: I just wanted to thank you. For what? The care package. It w...
Lorelai: Can we bribe you?
Lorelai: (pointing to Emily) Please? She's loaded!
- Permalink: Can we bribe you? No. Please? She's loaded!
(Rory is trying to get Jess to leave)
Jess: Are you sure we couldn't sit down, have a little heart-to-heart? He'd tell me his issues, I'd tell him mine, we'd hug.
Rory: (opens door) Go.
Jess: (going outside) Okay, well give him my best...(sees Dean at bottom of steps) Actually, I think I might do that myself.
Rory: He just dropped by to give me some food.
Jess: From Luke's.
Rory: He wanted to make sure I ate.
Jess: Luke did.
Rory: Yeah, Luke did.
Jess: Personally, I could care less if she eats.
Jess:(sees what Dean's holding) And what's that? Aw, a little ice cream package just big enough for two. How sweet. (Dean glowers at Jess) Oh, now you're doing that towering-over-me thing. Huh. You've really got that down. It helps that you're like twelve feet tall, but add that Frankenstein scowl it's just.
Jess: Okay, I'm leaving. (starts to walk away, turns around and says to Dean) I really was just dropping off some food, so don't get all West Side Story on me, alright?
- Permalink: Are you sure we couldn't sit down, have a little heart-to-heart?...
(referring to Luke) Oh, thirteen different shades of red!Lorelai
- Permalink: Oh, thirteen different shades of red!
Lorelai: What, did you get all dressed in black and pull a Mission Impossible? Jess: Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.
- Permalink: Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.
Luke: Just tear up the application, Taylor. I'm not moving.
Taylor: What? Why?
Luke: 'Cause I'm the two-inch grass kind of guy.
- Permalink: Just tear up the application, Taylor. I'm not moving. What? W...
(about the mess in Luke's apartment) This is what I always pictured the inside of my head to look like.Lorelai
- Permalink: This is what I always pictured the inside of my head to look lik...
(Jess and Luke are searching for an apartment)
Jess: Forget it!
Luke: Why? What was wrong with it?
Jess: It was pink!
Luke: We can paint it.
Jess: You mean I can paint it.
Luke: We can paint it together.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Fine. Which one did you like?
Jess: The one before.
Luke: The one with the two fridges?
Luke: Well, the one before was the one with two fridges.
Jess: No, the one we saw before was the one with the cat!
Luke: I hate cats!
Jess: Well, I don't think the cat came with the place.
Luke: Yeah, but it had carpeting which means it's always gonna smell like a cat.
Jess: (shrugs) Clean the carpet.
Luke: Paint the pink.
Jess: Fine. The one next to the bank.
Luke: Nah, too many windows.
Luke: Six windows, all on one side, three o'clock in the afternoon, we're sittin' in an oven.
Jess: So we get curtains.
Luke: Well, you'd have to help me put them up.
Jess: Great! Then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
Luke: Stop saying that!
- Permalink: Forget it! Why? What was wrong with it? It was pink! We ca...
Lorelai: That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never takes it off, and your stealing it was unbelievably cruel.
Jess: The most precious thing she owns?
Jess: If it's the most precious thing she owns, why did it take her two weeks to notice it was gone? You might want to reevaluate how madly in love she is. I wouldn't start calling him son yet.
- Permalink: That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never tak...