Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 2 Episode 12: "Richard in Stars Hollow"

Emily: Do you think you'll be single your entire life?
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: I mean in terms of you finding someone, what do you think the odds are?
Lorelai: Ok, what is going on?
Emily: Well, I visited the family mausoleum today...
Lorelai: (to Rory) Never what you think it's going to be!
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: I always wake up at 5:30 in the morning.
Lorelai: Wow. Why?
Richard: Well, I've been doing it for as long as I remember.
Lorelai: Be bold, Dad. Wake up at quarter to six one day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paris: We're going to reveal the seedy underbelly of small towns -- starting with yours.
Rory: Stars Hollow does not have a 'seedy underbelly'. We don't even have a meter maid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: I paid Yale a great deal of money. Getting Rory in would be a breeze.
Lorelai: We don't like breezes, they mess up our hair.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: How tall are you, anyway?
Dean: Why, you want to dance?
Richard: No, thank you. (thinks about it) But I appreciate the offer though.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Luke: (about Paris, who is annoying him) Rory, how much do you like this girl?
Rory: Do what you gotta do, Luke.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paris: Hey, where'd he come from? What's up there? Is that where you keep the girls? You got yourself a little cat house up there?
Jess: Wow, I think she got you Uncle Luke. You better give up now.
Luke: Do not add to this insanity.
Jess: An innocent boy like me should not be raised in an atmosphere like this.
Luke: Jess!
Jess: I wanna be good, life's just not letting me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Paris: The Oppenheimer Award for Excellence in school journalism is not a contest. It's a statement. It says you're the best. The best writers, the best reporters, the best editors. It says that you have crushed all others who have dared to take you on. It says that every other single school in the United States of America is feeling nothing but shame and defeat and pain because of the people who won the Oppenheimer plaque. I wanna be those people, I wanna cause that pain.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michel: (on the phone at the inn) As soon as I can, I will send someone up ... Yes, I will ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... I understand ... Okay ... I understand. Goodbye. (hangs up)
Lorelai: What do you understand?
Michel: I have no idea. I tuned him out at the first screech.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Paris: Well, the worst that can happen is that I spend some time in your town and suddenly have an urge to enter a pie in the county fair.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yes, Dad?
Richard: May I speak to you for a moment?
Michel: (under his breath; in a sing-song voice) Someone is in trouble.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Poor Dean.
Lorelai: Poor Dean, he has to spend one evening with him. I share chromosomes with the guy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: So, Dad, how's retired life treating you?
Richard: Well, fascinating actually! I find myself noticing things, everyday things that I must've witnessed a hundred times before and just walked right pass. Like yesterday your mother moved a vase, the one in the hall, and see didn't do it in front of me
Lorelai: No, no! 'Cause nice girls never move vases in front of men.
Richard: (ignoring Lorelai's comment) and she only moved it a little, but as I passed it by I noticed it had been moved!
Rory: Impressive!
Richard: And everyday is a new discovery! Your mother changed her hair, or she wore shoes that didn't match her purse!
Emily: Richard!
Richard: Last Thursday!
Emily: Oh, for heaven's sake!
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: I am an annoyance to my wife and a burden to my daughter. I suddenly know what it's like to be obsolete.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: Nice picture.
Rory: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.
Jess: You're very popular right now. I bet if you burn a few books, they'll probably make you mayor.
Rory: This is ridiculous.
Jess: I don't know, bet you have a lot of supporters on this. Pat Buchanon, Jerry Falwell, Kathie Lee Gifford.
Rory: (annoyed) Bye.
Jess: Aw, come on, it's a little funny.
Rory: No, being the poster girl for censorship is not a little funny. The only videos not behind that curtain are Bambi and Dumbo. I mean, they actually had a meeting earlier about whether or not Babe should be behind the curtain so as not to offend people who keep kosher!
Jess: It's a crazy world we live in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Louise: It's just a contest, Paris. It's not like you can win a car or a lifetime supply of rice-a-roni.
Madeline: God, I love that stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Hey, I need a grapefruit.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Yeah. Before my pancakes this morning I need half a grapefruit, uh, preferably one that tastes like a donut.
Luke: I don't have grapefruit.
Lorelai: How can you not have grapefruit?
Luke: I've never had grapefruit.
Lorelai: I need a grapefr... Listen, I have my father with me all day, and so far there's been no major drama or yelling or ugliness but there will be if I don't somehow find a way to get half a grapefruit for breakfast this morning.
Luke: I could go next door to Doose's and buy a grapefruit.
Lorelai: I would be eternally grateful.
Luke: I'll be right back.
Lorelai: Thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lorelai rushes through the front door followed by Richard)
Lorelai: Rory, we're home!
Richard: Next time, stop the car completely before you get out.
Lorelai: Rory, for the love of God, be home!
Rory: I'm here, sorry! I was on the phone. How was your... (Lorelai wraps Rory in her arms and hugs her very tightly) Ooh, okay.
Lorelai: I don't think I've ever loved you quite as much as I love you right now.
Rory: Ah, ribs cracking, organs crushing.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, love hurts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 11: "Secrets and Loans"

Kirk: (about the cost of exterminating the termites) Well, I haven't done the exact estimate, but I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen thousand dollars.
Lorelai: (laughs) Tell it to move to another neighborhood.
Kirk: I'm sorry?
Lorelai: Fifteen thousand dollars?
Rory: We're never eating again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kirk: You have termites.
Lorelai: What?
Kirk: Tens of thousands of them. Subterranean, dry wood, the whole gamut.
Rory: Gross.
Kirk: Four of them crawled up my noise.
Lorelai: Okay, Kirk.
Kirk: It happens all the time when you're upside down. To them the nostril looks just like another hollow passage in the wood. They're not too bright.
 • Rating: Unrated

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