I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it's monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it's like to be treated well before it's too late for me.


But I want you to know, that the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little. Because I'm a man and I know how to do things.

Booth [to Marnie]

The app is free, but breaking the word to yourself isn't.

Charlie [to Marnie]

Adam, you’re like so dementedly helpful.


Is this fucking face space or some shit?


I'm like the least virginy virgin ever.


Why don't you lay this thing down, flip it, and reverse it because I don't think it's very nice.


Really knowing someone is something else. It’s a completely different thing and when it happens you won’t be able to miss it. You will be aware. And you won’t hurt or be afraid. Okay?

Adam [to Marnie]

Let's have the type of night where it's 5 am and one of us has definitely punched someone who's been on a Disney channel show.


It's probably like his asshole wearing a friendship bracelet.


Hey Marnie, if you had read the essay and it wasn't about you, do you think would've liked it?


Jessa has HPV, like a couple of different strains of it. She says that all adventurous women do.


Girls Quotes

I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.


Adam: Thanks for stopping by kid.
Hannah: Thank you for stopping by...but maybe don't call me kid anymore.