I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it's monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it's like to be treated well before it's too late for me.

Hannah

But I want you to know, that the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little. Because I'm a man and I know how to do things.

Booth [to Marnie]

The app is free, but breaking the word to yourself isn't.

Charlie [to Marnie]

Adam, you’re like so dementedly helpful.

Shoshanna

Is this fucking face space or some shit?

Adam

I'm like the least virginy virgin ever.

Shoshanna

Why don't you lay this thing down, flip it, and reverse it because I don't think it's very nice.

Hannah

Really knowing someone is something else. It’s a completely different thing and when it happens you won’t be able to miss it. You will be aware. And you won’t hurt or be afraid. Okay?

Adam [to Marnie]

Let's have the type of night where it's 5 am and one of us has definitely punched someone who's been on a Disney channel show.

Elijah

It's probably like his asshole wearing a friendship bracelet.

Hannah

Hey Marnie, if you had read the essay and it wasn't about you, do you think would've liked it?

Hannah

Jessa has HPV, like a couple of different strains of it. She says that all adventurous women do.

Shoshanna

Girls Quotes

I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.

Hannah

I mean, two thumbs the fuck up.

Hannah