It smells like Marnie's. It smells like cookies and air freshener.

Adam

Shoshanna: You look like a junkie.
Jessa: I am a junkie.

He treats me like an ottoman with a vagina.

Hannah

That romance, that mystery, that thrill, that goes. And you know what you're left with? Trying to seduce someone who just wants you to leave so they can jerk off and take the bus to rehearsal.

Adam's friend: Wow you've got a lot of darkness in you.
Marnie: A lot of that is stuff I wrote on Ambien.

He's odd, he's angry, he's uncomfortable in his own skin.

Lorraine [about Adam]

Margo: What's Hannah going to do with engagement ring?
Lorraine: She's going to wear it on her fucking finger when she gets engaged.

I always promised myself I'd never get married until I had a swimming pool in my living room.

Hannah

Great about med school, so exciting! How are the hot doctors-to-be? I always watch Grey's Anatomy. I never miss an episode.

Hannah

Oh the old Flo Job, you know her just sluttin' around.

Hannah

Grandma Flo: Wow you look nice, what did you do?
Hannah: Oh I gained 15 pounds.

Adam: The only thing I remember about my grandma is that she had rough skin and spit a lot.
Hannah: My grandma's very neat and she had skin like a kitten's ear.

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.