Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Brittany

Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou.

Sue

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

Sue

I'm so depressed I've worn the same outfit twice this week.

Kurt

Rachel: Break a leg.
Finn: I love you.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

Brittany

[God] makes me gay and then makes His followers go around saying it's a choice, as if I'd choose to be mocked every day of my life.

Kurt

I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

Mike

When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused. And then furious.

Sue

Rachel manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.

Kurt

[to the panel] Okay. I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were like honking and everyone was crying and I was like, "Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable."

Candace

My mom won't even let me watch Twilight. She says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.

Tina

Glee Quotes

We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. Those of you who know me know I'm not in the habit of taking the hands of people I've never met before, but I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other, fearlessly and forever. Which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you. It's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime that you and I have ever lived we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over, for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So, Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?

Blaine

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.

Rachel