Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Brittany

Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou.

Sue

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

Sue

I'm so depressed I've worn the same outfit twice this week.

Kurt

Rachel: Break a leg.
Finn: I love you.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

Brittany

I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

Mike

[God] makes me gay and then makes His followers go around saying it's a choice, as if I'd choose to be mocked every day of my life.

Kurt

When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused. And then furious.

Sue

Rachel manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.

Kurt

[to the panel] Okay. I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were like honking and everyone was crying and I was like, "Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable."

Candace

My mom won't even let me watch Twilight. She says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.

Tina

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.

Rachel

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn