When you're different ... when you're special ... sometimes you have to get used to being alone.

Kurt

You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you.

Kurt

And now, performing the hit song Tik and also Tok, by rapper Ke and dollar sign ha, New Directions.

Figgins

The only straight I am is straight up bitch.

Santana

Someone get me to a day spa! Stat!

Kurt

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Brittany

Finn: I came up with the best baby name of all-time: Drizzle.

That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

Sue

I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.

Sue

Kurt: You busted my window.
Mercedes: Well, you busted my heart.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

Brittany

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.