Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Glee Quotes
Kurt: I do not want to get back together with Blaine. I've moved on. I met someone online. His name is Walter.
Sue: Oh, Porcelain, no. No no no no. You will not come out of this alive. This person is obviously a cannibal. I mean, look at you. You are exceptionally well-marbled. If I were on a deserted island with everybody I knew, I would absolutely eat you first. It doesn't even have to be a deserted island. There could be any number of casual dining establishments and I would still opt to eat you--a mouthwatering, delicious, corn-fed, porcelain rump roast.
Rachel: I'm actually not a beginner. My dads put me in lessons when I was four and I got bored so I quit.
Blaine: Huh! That's so unlike you.
Madison: More stage time for us.
Mason: Twinning!
Why would I stoop to such puerile acts? Because I hate you, Will Schuester. And I will stop at nothing until I see you homeless in the streets drinking gutter runoff and allowing passersby to perform lewd acts on your buttchin for money. You are a fatuous, dim-witted borderline pederast who tears up faster than a gay jihadi in a sandstorm. You have befouled the profession of teaching by accepting not only one but two Teacher of the Year Awards despite not speaking a word of the foreign language you purport to teach. Like the storied predators of yesteryear, Will, you pick only the most vulnerable students to favor while actively neglecting the others. Like that gross kid with the dreadlocks, or that poor Irish idiot Rory, or that black dancer whose name none of us remember because you rode his back to a win sectionals and then promptly ignored him into oblivion. You positively worship a student if they can so much as carry a tune and yet you don't know a single name of the only true musical genius in that choir room--THE BAND, who have demonstrated that they can at the drop of a hat play literally any song you can name and still you treat them like so much nameless human garbage.
Sue
Your charms wore off a long time ago, William. Sometime around Bieber week.
Sue
Rachel: I was so intent on being a Broadway star that I never even learned her name. Any of their names. There was Puck's brother, cross-dressing Mercedes, and the one with the fat mom, and and Rayder.
Kurt: Rider.
Rachel: See?
[to Kurt and Walter] Shall we start with something to drink? Perhaps a Shirley Temple in a sippy cup for Sonny. And how about a chalky Ensure, enriched with calcium to fortify those brittle bones?
Sue
[to Rachel] Are you trying to pick me up? Because if you're thinking of going lezzie with a cheerleader, I think the world's kind of rooting for you and Quinn Fabray.
Kitty
Look, Rachel. You have a reputation for being an inherently selfish person. You rarely ask people what they think and when you do it's usually in the context of 'what do you think about me.'
Kitty
Sue: Operation Break Rachel's Heart While Sabotaging the New Directions is proceeding very nicely.
Sam: Have you thought about using a shorter name for the operation?
Look, I may not have lived in some vague outer borough of New York City, but there's a reason I'm the only glee kid who survived Sue Sylvester's regime change at McKinley. Because I'm ruthless too.
Kitty
Look man. Every movement needs a leader, someone to step out into the light and say this is me, this is who I am, and this is what I stand for.
Sam
