Glee
Fridays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Glee Quotes
Let me hit you with the blunt instrument of reality, Puckerman. You're still you, a douchey playboy who's going to spend the rest of his life dealing with one mess after another as long as he lives. One of these days, you are going to knock someone up, and I feel bad for whoever has to have a child who shares your DNA.
Bree
So, if you're done being a puppet master, do you think you could take your hand out from under my dress?
Tina
[to Marley] I miss you, every minute of every day. I know that I screwed things up really badly and I'm sorry. I know what I lost and I know that I can't be without you. I need you. I don't want to be this jerk anymore and you are the only one that can make me a better person. A good person.
Jake
Who doesn’t love a lady holding a three legged dog?
Santana
[to Spencer] You take Fred Flintstone off his brontasaurus, all he is is Wilma with a set of man plumbs. Conversation over.
Coach Beiste
[to Santana] Okay, I may be a genius, but how can I argue with the logic of your giant, generous heart?
Brittany
Brittany: As a math genius, I am one of the few people who understand the concept of infinity and I will love you until infinity, Santana Lopez.
Santana: And I will love you until infinity too, Britt.
[to Becky] Oh, honey. All healthy relationships are built on lies! You know what? I'm pretty sure that's why I ended up divorcing myself.
Sue
So, I figure that this is as good a place as any to ask you this question, mainly because it's going to really upset all the single guys and gals in here, but I want to mash up with you forever, Britt. I mean, some people love someone because they make them a better person and that's not why I love you because you've always just wanted me to be myself. You're my favorite person in the whole world and we're a big deal, you know? Like no matter how many times we've tried to put our thing down and walk away from it we can't because I don't want to live my life without my one true love. I normally I use a lot of words when I'm saying something negative so since this is the most positive thing I'm ever going to do, I'm gonna keep it simple. Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?
Santana
[to Spencer] I'm actually kind of jealous of all the snooping around you've been able to do without detection. It's like you're Batman, only gay.
Sue
Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.
[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.
Brittany
