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Glee

Holly: So I hear you guys are having problems.
Emma: We're not having problems
Carl: Yes we are
Holly: Okay when is the last time you guys-
Carl: Never.
Holly: I beg your pardon
Carl: We never
Holly: Girlfriend what is up with that?!? He's hot! Your 30.
Emma: I know, but we watch the Housewives dramas which are so so racy.
Carl: I tried. I make her dinner. I give her roses and everytime i do this-*tickles Emma* that happens.
Holly: Okay I'm not a doctor. I don't even like watching doctor shows. Except the ones where they strap bombs around their chests. I love those! So I'm going to ask you a question and be honest. Are you still in love with Will Schuester?
Carl: I was thinking the same thing but I was afraid to ask.
Emma: I'm very confused of my feelings right now.
Carl: Well, your feelings can stay at the condo and mine are going to the hotel. Thanks doctor. *leaves*
Holly: Not a doctor.
Emma: Please don't tell Will.
Holly: No of course not. My lips are sealed. Just like your legs. Wow, gosh, sorry, how rude. Why did I say that? You know a real doctor would have never said that.

It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with.

Holly

I made a mistake with Puck. You should have been my first.

Quinn

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Brittany

I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.

Puck

Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.

Puck

My lips are sealed. Just like your legs... see, a real doctor would never have said that.

Holly

We watch the Housewives shows, which are racy. So, so racy.

Emma

Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter. Because you matter, Kurt.

Burt
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