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Holly: So I hear you guys are having problems.
Emma: We're not having problems
Carl: Yes we are
Holly: Okay when is the last time you guys-
Carl: Never.
Holly: I beg your pardon
Carl: We never
Holly: Girlfriend what is up with that?!? He's hot! Your 30.
Emma: I know, but we watch the Housewives dramas which are so so racy.
Carl: I tried. I make her dinner. I give her roses and everytime i do this-*tickles Emma* that happens.
Holly: Okay I'm not a doctor. I don't even like watching doctor shows. Except the ones where they strap bombs around their chests. I love those! So I'm going to ask you a question and be honest. Are you still in love with Will Schuester?
Carl: I was thinking the same thing but I was afraid to ask.
Emma: I'm very confused of my feelings right now.
Carl: Well, your feelings can stay at the condo and mine are going to the hotel. Thanks doctor. *leaves*
Holly: Not a doctor.
Emma: Please don't tell Will.
Holly: No of course not. My lips are sealed. Just like your legs. Wow, gosh, sorry, how rude. Why did I say that? You know a real doctor would have never said that.

It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with.


I made a mistake with Puck. You should have been my first.


The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.


I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.


Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.


My lips are sealed. Just like your legs... see, a real doctor would never have said that.


We watch the Housewives shows, which are racy. So, so racy.


Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter. Because you matter, Kurt.

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