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Clearly she's drugged Serena again! Dan, write a list of everything Damien said that he sold to Juliet. [to Nate] And you. Look at the list and tell us which one of those drugs causes you to repeatedly trust psychopaths.


Eric: What's he doing here? Trying to recruit another virgin to use as your drug mule?
Damien: I'd ask 'are you available' but I have to run.

Eric, somewhere between a Marlins jersey and the absolute truth lies the better part of decorum.


Serena: Then you just left me for dead in a motel room. Why, because of Nate? Or Colin?
Juliet: No, you stupid bitch. Because you destroyed my brother's life!

Serena: The photo of me on Gossip Girl. That was you too?
Juliet: Yep. I went out dressed like you and partied like it was 2007.

Blair: Never to be realized literary aspirations: check. Townie: you're from Brooklyn, so check. And giving up everything to became Serena van der Woodsen's stalker? Check. Face it Humphrey, you are one knitted tie away from Mr. Donovan territory.

Blair: Look, I think I figured it out. Okay, Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey.
Dan: Yeah, because the parallels are striking.

Oh. At least he's owning it.


We should almost be there. Let me just consult the GPS. Oh wait. That's me.


Blair: Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster. At least there's no radio so I'm spared your horrid taste in music. I think we were supposed to turn there.
Dan: You know I'd tell you to stop being such a back seat driver but how can you be one when you don't even know how to drive.
Blair: I offered to get us a car service. Professional driver, comfortable seats, champagne!
Dan: We're on a mission here.

Dan: So. Juliet dressed up like Serena at Saints & Sinners to destroy her relationships with me and Nate.
Blair: And enlist Vanessa and Jenny to mess with me.
Dan: Which is devious and pathetic, but let's face it, around here it's just another Saturday night.

You can't show up at a masked ball and not expect at least one social climbing doppelganger to try and impersonate you.

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