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Blair: I cannot believe that daddy decided to stay with Roman, instead of having tea at the Carlyle with me. The ER doctor said he would make a full recovery. Everything is ruined.
Eleanor: What makes you say that? You and I had a marvelous time.
Blair: Well, I'm sorry, mother. It's just not the same. I don't understand how that French fox stole my father and your husband, and always seems to come off like an innocent lamb.
Eleanor: Roman was not always so innocent, you know?
Blair: Really? What's the story?
Eleanor: When I first met him, he was going out with this model named Freddy. And Freddy was a horrible scoundrel.
Blair: Roman would actually be into somebody like that?
Eleanor: Into him? He was actually infatuated with him. Freddy had him in some kind of spell. I was the one who got him to break out and turn his life around. Don't mention Freddy to your father. It is a sore subject.
Blair: Okay. What was Freddy's last name?
- Permalink: I cannot believe that daddy decided to stay with Roman, instead...
Chuck: (voicemail) Leave a message and I might listen to it.
Blair: Chuck! You are not answering my calls. To torture me, I am sure. But, please! For the love of God, do not tell anybody about us. Okay? Please? Please.
- Permalink: (voicemail) Leave a message and I might listen to it. Chuck! ...
Blair: You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late.
Serena: Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under $50 these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money for $49.99. He won't know the difference.
- Permalink: You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late. U...
Serena: Hey. I come to you hat in hand, tail between my legs, and off my high horse. I spent the entire day searching for the perfect gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing, Christmas day is looming and, um... I need your help.
Vanessa: I could take this opportunity to gloat, but I actually like you. So, let's get down to business.
- Permalink: Hey. I come to you hat in hand, tail between my legs, and off m...
Vanessa: Well, Dan's not really that into things.
Serena: Which makes shopping for him kind of hopeless. The only thing he wants for Christmas is snow. It's not like I can give him that.
Vanessa: You sure?
- Permalink: Well, Dan's not really that into things. Which makes shopping...
Roman: Eleanor, we've been friends for a long time. Since before Marc Jacobs went into rehab.
Eleanor: Friends don't steal other friends' husbands.
- Permalink: Eleanor, we've been friends for a long time. Since before Marc ...
Blair: (after threatening Vanessa to back off Dan) I'm going to go check on my daddy!
Serena: I thought you were going to help.
Blair: I think my work's done here.
- Permalink: (after threatening Vanessa to back off Dan) I'm going to go che...
Serena, as usual you're being overly dramatic. I'm not marrying Bart. This is very casual. And, regardless, I'm not asking for your permission.Lily
- Permalink: Serena, as usual you're being overly dramatic. I'm not marrying...
Lily: When you two are done hiding up here, I'm taking you both out for dessert.
Serena: Can't, mom. I'm busy.
Lily: But this is important for our family. It would be just the three of us.
Serena: Mom, every time you say, "it would be just the three of us," it means you're dating someone new. Whoever it is, I don't care. I'll just see him at the wedding.
Lily: Fine. Then, I'll just tell you who it is because you're going to be seeing him around from now on. It's Bart Bass.
Eric and Serena: Bart Bass!?
Serena: Mom, you cannot date Bart Bass.
Lily: You just said a moment ago you don't care who it was.
Serena: That was before I knew who it was.
- Permalink: When you two are done hiding up here, I'm taking you both out f...
Eleanor: I wish you would just slow down for a second and let her be.
Harold: Well, I just can't believe that Blair would do something so cruel. And to Roman, who only have ever been completely kind to her.
Eleanor: It isn't Roman Blair's lashing out at, it's you. She was looking forward to spending time with you alone and then you show up on our doorstep with your lover. Now you wonder why. How did you expect she would react?
Harold: Well, I was hoping that once we get together, it would all work out. I suppose that was pretty naive.
Eleanor: Blair learned scheming from her mother. And unrealistic dreaming from her father. She tries really hard to act all grown up, but don't you be fooled. She's just a girl, who needs her daddy.
- Permalink: I wish you would just slow down for a second and let her be. ...
Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.
- Permalink: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi! Dan. Jenny. Hi! Tree...
Blair: There's no room in your life for me anymore.
Harold: Sweetheart, there is always room for you. No matter where I am. No matter who I'm with.
- Permalink: There's no room in your life for me anymore. Sweetheart, ther...