I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. You look confused... should I walk you through it?

Blair

(on Rufus' song) Okay, not big on the soundtrack, whatever movie he's scoring sounds depressing.

Vanessa

Chuck: You know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.
Serena: Ah. Incest, the universal taboo. One of the, uh, only ones you haven't violated.
Chuck: I'm game if you are.

Vanessa: So Dan, what will it be? Cheerios and Chaucer, or an illegal party at your prep school pool with your high society girlfriend and her nasty cohorts?
Dan: Dad? Vanessa and I are going out!

Blair: Isn't there someone else you can torture?
Chuck: Probably, but I choose you.

Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Chuck: I didn't say forever, just until the sight of you two together doesn't turn my stomach.
Blair: And when will that be?
Chuck: Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint.

How about I turn that one-piece to a no-piece?

Chuck (to Serena)

Blair: You know what? I'm tired of this. Go ahead and tell him.
Chuck: Really? You want me to tell him how you slept with me and then faked your virginity for him?
Blair: I'll just tell him your lying. And you do you think he'll believe? You who bangs anything in his field of vision. Or me, his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Chuck: I know he'll believe me.
Blair: Why?
Chuck: I have proof.

Blair: Hey, let go of me, Bass!
Chuck: Drop your Archibald habit first.
Blair: You know I already have.
Chuck: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal. Let's not waste time denying.

This just in; St. Jude's has a new policy. An eye for a lie!

Hey, last time I checked, I still owed you a black eye. So, unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her.

Dan (to Chuck)

You have no idea who you're dealing with.

Blair (to Vanessa)

Gossip Girl Season 1 Quotes

Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock is ticking.

Gossip Girl

Mrs. Waldorf: If you're gonna wear one of my designs, at least tell me so we can have it fitted.
Blair: Thanks, mom.