Hey, Upper East Siders! It's Christmas in New York. And along with the season comes the Constance Billard-St. Jude's Bazaar; where the only thing bizarre are the donated items for sale.

Blair: A real Waldorf Christmas eve. Eleanor drew the line at Christmas day. That's only for me, her, and Dorota.
Serena: Well, it's still a couple days with your dad.
Blair: No, it'll be more than just a couple of days. I'm going to convince him to stay in New York.
Serena: What about Paris and Roman?
Blair: Roman is a phase. My father belongs here with me. He only left New York to ride out the scandal. It's time to come home, don't you think? Hey, did you want to ask me something?
Serena: Yes! A gift idea for Dan, now that Vanessa brought him the most thoughtful Dan-like present ever.
Blair: Why don't you just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
Serena: Thank you! For being totally not helpful, at all. See you tomorrow night.
Blair: Bye!

Blair: I can't believe you're okay with this.
Eleanor: Who said I am okay with this? What am I supposed to do; make a scene? Behave like a pathetic, scorned wife? No!
Blair: Roman doesn't even know how to ice skate. Can't you escort him out of the park on the way to your meeting? Maybe drop him off a nail salon...

Rufus: My son, the writer.
Alison: Published writer.
Jenny: Yeah, you got your dream girl and you're star of the New Yorker. Maybe you should just die now.
Dan: It's true. I may have peaked.

Eleanor: Roman, it is going to be so dull for you to sit and watch them skate...
Blair: Yes! Why don't you go to the petting zoo and feed the sheep?
Roman: Why don't I join you in the rink? It looks fun.
Harold: Wonderful!
Roman: Yes! Super!
Harold: I'll get you skates.
Blair: Super.

Roman: (referring to Jack Roth) The handsome man was just flirting with you.
Eleanor: That's absurd. He was not flirting with me.

Serena: I noticed the other day that you don't wear a watch. And then it occurred to me it's because you don't have a watch. You're going to need one to be punctual for all the meetings with editors and publishers, now that you're fancy and, apparently, self-important writer... You don't like it. You want the band changed.
Dan: No! I love the band. I love the whole thing. It's the most amazing watch I've ever seen... but I can't accept this.
Serena: What? Yes, you can. Look, it's more of a gift for me because I had so much fun picking it out for you. You have to.
Dan: Serena, I buy a book for my dad every Christmas. I think the most elaborate gift I've ever given has been a pair of rubber boots from L.L. Bean.
Serena: So, then, I overdid it?
Dan: I think even when you're underdoing it, you're overdoing it.

Vanessa: Hey! If it's any help, I could tell you Dan's favorite used-book shops.
Serena: That's okay. I think I got it.

Spotted spinning at Wallman Rink, the Blair-capades. All the grace of Nancy Kerrigan, but packing the punch of Tonya Harding.

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