Gossip Girl Season 5 Quotes (Page 24)
Season 5 Episode 2: "Beauty and the Feast"

Chuck: [to Nate] It's a good thing you don't offer satisfaction guaranteed or she'd be your third refund this week.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dorota: You are pregnant, too! We are like sisters now!
Blair: [glares]
Dorota: ... Cousins.
Blair: [glares]
Dorota: Distant cousins.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
OB GYN: Dorota, how are you?
Blair: She's fine. I'm Blair, Dorota's employer. I have a few questions.
Dorota: Just go with it. Is only way.
Blair: What about breast sensitivity? She practically screams when anyone touches them. I can hear her all the way in Queens.
Doctor: Perfectly normal.
Blair: Great. And how long until she can determine the father of her child? She's had a few one night stands with the staff of our building...
Dorota: Blair Cornelia Waldorf!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5 Episode 1: "Yes, Then Zero"

Gossip Girl: You often find, what you least expect is right in front of you. Waiting to change everything forever. Whether you want to or not. XOXO — Gossip Girl.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gossip Girl: Nothing stays hidden for long.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Seamstress: Do they know?
Blair: Know what?
Seamstress: How far along you are? I'd say six weeks. He sent me your measurements.
• Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
Gossip Girl: The thing about expectations is most of the time, someone else sets them for you. Yet you feel like they've been there all along. And you can't wait to live up to them. But just because you know what's expected of you doesn't mean you still can't surprise everyone.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dan: So now I just have to make sure the book that chapter comes from never sees the light of day.
Rufus: There's a whole book?
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Dan: Hey, what's going on?
Rufus: Lily has another meeting with the decorator. She's redecorated so many times that it looks exactly the same.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gossip Girl: Well well well, Upper East Siders, I got my answer after all. And it turns out the only thing expanding at the Waldorf residence is the help. Yet all this talk about expecting has got me thinking about expectations.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Blair: What? Oh. No. Is it my hair?
Eleanor: I didn't want to say anything in front of Louis but I found something hidden in the pantry. Is this why you have been acting so strange about Louis? Is there something you need to tell me?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Serena: Have you ever thought about writing a book?
Chuck: People like me don't write books, they're written about.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Chuck: Serena, you accepted responsibility without hesitation for maybe the first time in your life. And Nate, you had more fun not being you than you've had actually being you. Which means you now know you need to change.
Serena: Is it just me, or is what he saying actually making sense?
Nate: Maybe we're not awake yet.
• Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Gossip Girl: Lonely Boy learning three words, eight letters don't come out right when no one wants to hear them.
Blair: Come on, Louis. Let's go. I'm done here.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Blair: I don't understand, are you following me now?
Louis: No Blair.
Blair: Actually, it's fine if you are. Because I can do this in person then.
Dan: Louis is not here for you.
Blair: He's not? What the hell's going on?
Dan: Louis didn't meet you tonight because he was helping me.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: I need this job more than you do, okay? I pay for my life. I have student loans, rent, a car lease. I can't afford to get fired.
Serena: And I can?
Marshall: You're Serena van der Woodsen. You do one lap around this party you'll get ten job offers. You weren't even looking when you found this one.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jane: Nice to meet you by the way...
Nate: Nate.
Jane: Hm. That's a great name.
Nate: And you are?
Jane: Done now.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Nate: My best friend was right. Saying yes makes everything better.
Jane: Well based on my own recent experience I'd have to agree.
• Rating: Unrated
Girl: Okay. I know I don't know you at all and you probably could give a damn about what I have to say. Most of the people in my business are in it because they're thrill seekers or adrenaline junkies. But for some of them, there's something dark going on. I think you need help.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Season 5 Quotes: 511
Total Gossip Girl Quotes: 2809