DEREK: "So, when did this problem begin?"
STEVE: "Well, I had an erection last night and woke up with one this morning."
MIRANDA: "Umm, Dr. Shepherd, if you don't need me, the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints."
DEREK: "Yeah, no we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?"
STEVE: "I'm not sure. Meredith?"
CRISTINA: [leaves, tries not to laugh] "Oh, I'm... I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey."
STEVE: "Meredith, what time did we, know."
DEREK: [smiles] "Yes, Meredith. What time did you two?"

[to Cristina] "I know you. You don't want to move but I can't always be the one that takes a step. Any more steps and I'm walking away."


ALEX: "I'm a hotshot doctor. I don't have any problems."
ROBERT: "You probably don't have any friends, either."

PRESTON: "It's just a key."
CRISTINA: "Okay. Good, good."
PRESTON: "Or... you could start thinking about moving in with me."

STEVE: "A needle!? In my penis!?!"
MIRANDA: "Well, the next step is penile infarction or gangrene, so if you want it to fall off..."

CRISTINA: "Congratulations, you're flaccid."
STEVE: "Never thought I'd be glad to hear that."

[to Mer] "And hey. Not every guy's a nightmare."


GEORGE: "Maybe it's a... a m-m-matter of... volume?"
MEREDITH: "Oh, so now I'm a slut?"
GEORGE: "I think you're taking some risks. I think you'll find yourself in some guy's basement being ordered to put the lotion on the skin or you'll get the hose again."

MEREDITH: "Please? I would do it for you."
CRISTINA: "You would give Burke an enema?"
CRISTINA: [sarcastically] "Uh-huh."
MEREDITH: "Maybe. No. But that's not the point."
CRISTINA: "Yeah, okay. Here's how it goes. I do this for you, and you do every enema I'm assigned to for an entire month."
CRISTINA: "Wow, you really don't want to do this."

[to Alex] "Okay... so, do you feel like doing it now?"


[to Alex] "Was it me? We seemed to be having a normal time."


ALEX: "Still not talking to me?"
OLIVIA: "You gave me syphilis! And I am talking to you. I just don't have anything to say."

Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Quotes

DEREK: "Come on, have a drink."
MEREDITH: "I can't have a drink, I'm celibate."
JOE: "You mean sober? She means sober."
MEREDITH: "No, I mean celibate. I'm practicing celibacy. Drinking does not go well with celibacy because it makes everything and everyone seem kind of porn-y. Then my head gets all cloudy and the next thing you know I'm naked. My point is that I'm celibate, and knitting is good for surgical dexterity, so I'm making a sweater."
DEREK: "You? Celibate? I don't buy it."
MEREDITH: "No more men."
ADDISON: "No more men? Really? You? I'm just asking, because we're friends."
Meredith: Every guy I meet turns out to be married.
DEREK: "Oh... ouch."
MEREDITH: "Or Mark."
ADDISON: [walks away] "Okay, I'm going to sit over there now."
MEREDITH: "Sorry. Or, remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?"
DEREK: "You're making a sweater."
MEREDITH: "I'm making a sweater."

MEREDITH: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."
DEREK: "This thing with us is finished. It's over."
MEREDITH: "Finally."
DEREK: "Yeah, it's done."
MEREDITH: "It is done."