[to Mer] "Oh, nice try with the fancy words. He needs an enema, and the answer is no."


CRISTINA: "What the hell is this?"
PRESTON: "It's a key."
PRESTON: "Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?"
CRISTINA: "Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?"

ADDISON: "Dory, this is Dr. Shepherd. He's our head of neurosurgery."
DEREK: "Hi."
DORY: "Oh, another Dr. Shepherd."
ADDISON: "He's my husband, actually."
DORY: "Seriously?"
DEREK: "Mmm-hmm."
DORY: "Wow. Look at you two. Everybody must hate you.
ADDISON: "You have no idea."

[to Izzie] "Don't even pretend that you haven't been judging me since the minute we met."


[to Steve] "There'll be lots of labs, lots of needles, lots of painful procedures. Procedures which might make you wish you never had a penis. You sure you don't want to change your story?"


[to Mer & Cristina] "Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!"


"It's not my fault you broke the guy's penis."


IZZIE: [about Alex] "He said it's never happened before."
GEORGE: "That's what we all say. I mean they. That's what they all say."

MEREDITH: "What are you doing here... um... Steve?"
STEVE: "I'm having a little problem."
CRISTINA: "Steve, Steve?"
STEVE: "Actually, I'm having a big problem."
CRISTINA: [staring] "Steve! Hi, Cristina."
STEVE: [to Mer] "Ever since you...and I... um... it won't go away."
MEREDITH: [sees her staring] "Cristina!"
CRISTINA: "What? It's right there, looking at me! There are so many things I could say right now. Champ!"

CRISTINA: [holds up key]
MEREDITH: "Burke keyed you?"
CRISTINA: "I got freaking keyed before coffee."
MEREDITH: "What is wrong with them?"
CRISTINA: "They're like these 1950s debutantes, one dance and there's a shotgun to your head."

[to Cristina] "They always look so sad when I kick them out. Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex, that there are no picket fences or kids in your future?"


[to pregnant patient expecting quints] "Guess when you take those fertility pills, you should read the fine print, huh?"


Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Quotes

DEREK: "Come on, have a drink."
MEREDITH: "I can't have a drink, I'm celibate."
JOE: "You mean sober? She means sober."
MEREDITH: "No, I mean celibate. I'm practicing celibacy. Drinking does not go well with celibacy because it makes everything and everyone seem kind of porn-y. Then my head gets all cloudy and the next thing you know I'm naked. My point is that I'm celibate, and knitting is good for surgical dexterity, so I'm making a sweater."
DEREK: "You? Celibate? I don't buy it."
MEREDITH: "No more men."
ADDISON: "No more men? Really? You? I'm just asking, because we're friends."
Meredith: Every guy I meet turns out to be married.
DEREK: "Oh... ouch."
MEREDITH: "Or Mark."
ADDISON: [walks away] "Okay, I'm going to sit over there now."
MEREDITH: "Sorry. Or, remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?"
DEREK: "You're making a sweater."
MEREDITH: "I'm making a sweater."

MEREDITH: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."
DEREK: "This thing with us is finished. It's over."
MEREDITH: "Finally."
DEREK: "Yeah, it's done."
MEREDITH: "It is done."