[to Mer] "Oh, nice try with the fancy words. He needs an enema, and the answer is no."


CRISTINA: "What the hell is this?"
PRESTON: "It's a key."
PRESTON: "Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?"
CRISTINA: "Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?"

ADDISON: "Dory, this is Dr. Shepherd. He's our head of neurosurgery."
DEREK: "Hi."
DORY: "Oh, another Dr. Shepherd."
ADDISON: "He's my husband, actually."
DORY: "Seriously?"
DEREK: "Mmm-hmm."
DORY: "Wow. Look at you two. Everybody must hate you.
ADDISON: "You have no idea."

[to Izzie] "Don't even pretend that you haven't been judging me since the minute we met."


[to Steve] "There'll be lots of labs, lots of needles, lots of painful procedures. Procedures which might make you wish you never had a penis. You sure you don't want to change your story?"


[to Mer & Cristina] "Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!"


"It's not my fault you broke the guy's penis."


IZZIE: [about Alex] "He said it's never happened before."
GEORGE: "That's what we all say. I mean they. That's what they all say."

MEREDITH: "What are you doing here... um... Steve?"
STEVE: "I'm having a little problem."
CRISTINA: "Steve, Steve?"
STEVE: "Actually, I'm having a big problem."
CRISTINA: [staring] "Steve! Hi, Cristina."
STEVE: [to Mer] "Ever since you...and I... um... it won't go away."
MEREDITH: [sees her staring] "Cristina!"
CRISTINA: "What? It's right there, looking at me! There are so many things I could say right now. Champ!"

CRISTINA: [holds up key]
MEREDITH: "Burke keyed you?"
CRISTINA: "I got freaking keyed before coffee."
MEREDITH: "What is wrong with them?"
CRISTINA: "They're like these 1950s debutantes, one dance and there's a shotgun to your head."

[to Cristina] "They always look so sad when I kick them out. Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex, that there are no picket fences or kids in your future?"


[to pregnant patient expecting quints] "Guess when you take those fertility pills, you should read the fine print, huh?"


Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Quotes

MEREDITH: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."
DEREK: "This thing with us is finished. It's over."
MEREDITH: "Finally."
DEREK: "Yeah, it's done."
MEREDITH: "It is done."

"I feel like one of those people who are so freaking miserable that they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress."