My prom date was one of those murderball champions.


Look at me 2 hours ago I wasn't even in this wedding and now I run this bitch.


The guys wanted me and the girls wanted to be me.


Oh my God it's the Mandonna, let me hide under your unnecessary hat.

Max [to Alex]

And time, 3 minutes and 7 seconds til she mentioned the guy she's dating.


If you wanna know what else is gay go to


Do you realize their Brangelina name is gonna be Derek?


I will always love Sean Penn no matter how creepy and thin his mustache gets.


Quiet Jane is the scariest Jane.


Save the drama for Wilmer Valderama.


You're not the only one who's good at this game Emily Thorne.

Max [to Penny]

He was threatening to blow up this whole operation so I had to go ghost prots on him.

Max [about Dave]

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]