[after his ankle monitor went off] I thought the bracelet was decorative. My aunt had one just like it. Wait a minute...

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House: I quit.
Foreman: You can't quit.
House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Talk to our little Gossip Girl.

Lucas: It says emergency page.
Cuddy: Ignore it.
Lucas: Sweet.

We finally know what Tuab would look like if he were life-size

Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree.

You had me at "I had to pee."

It's real. Unfortunately. Because Vicodin doesn't cause rash, fever, and joint pain. It does make Taub considerably less annoying, though.

(to Sister Augustine) You must be all the talk around the holy water cooler.

House: We're almost at my floor, so I'll summarize: you're problem, not mine.

House: I need some help with Alice Tanner. She wants a vagina.
Dr. Cuddy: I'm pretty attached to mine.

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

Arlene [to Cuddy]: If you're going to dress like an Italian hooker, at least let it be this year's Italian hooker.
Julia: She's not telling us we look fat. That's a major breakthrough.
Arlene: If you didn't want to be insulted, you wouldn't have invited me.