People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

(to Sister Augustine) You must be all the talk around the holy water cooler.

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams

Cameron: You hate coincidence.
House: We reconciled. It was a whole thing.

Me and humanity--we got together too young.

House: How often do you use your vibrator?
Carmen: Excuse me?!
House: Your battery-operated Brad Pitt.

Taub: I was mugged once. When I saw the gun, my legs went out.
Dr. Chase: I always thought it was fight or flight. Didn't know it was fight or flight or faint.

I killed a man.

Thirteen

[said to Dr. Park] Oh, you don't want to bet me.

The phrase "Who's Your Daddy?" comes to mind.

Foreman

House: I didn't realize you'd be in the middle of something.
Wilson: It's a conference room. With glass walls.

Arlene: You think I'm a hypochondriac?
House: Well, let me answer this way: maybe you're imagining that I think you're a hypochondriac.

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

Wilson: Who rents porn anymore? Can't you get this stuff on the Internet?
House: You can. But you can't get the director's cut.