Unsquint your eyes.

I liked him better when he was on Vicodin.


I killed a man.


Good thing I brought my axe cane.

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams

House: We're almost at my floor, so I'll summarize: you're problem, not mine.

Cuddy : I have a case for you.
House: Beer?
Cuddy: Amnesia.

House: He's happy.
Amber: He's dead.

Adams: What happened to your eye?
House: I grabbed Park's ass.

House: I can't find my pornos.
Wilson: Have you tried offering a reward?

Wilson: I think you're actually being nice.
House: Oh, shut up.

You had me at "I had to pee."

House Quotes

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams

I'm gonna pretend to go to work now.