Dr. Foreman: Why are you giving me these?
House: Because, while they're all running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.
Dr. Foreman: There's an entire department for that.
House: Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

House: Masters, when you finally blossom into a woman, would you ever sleep with a man who had a cat?
Masters: Sure.
House: Wrong, the answer is no. Slut.

Dr. Wilson: Sarah would have been destroyed at the shelter.
House: Aww, who wouldn't want a cat that croaks if you're not at home twice a day to shoot it up?

Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Masters: What about a tutor?
Taub: I don't need a tutor.
House: Tutor it is. Choose your poison. Chase, if you prefer pounding Aussie beers and commiserating over the suckiness of divorce. Masters, if you want nervous energy, flash cards, and obnoxious pieces of arcane trivia. Foreman, if you need to be berated by a humorless hard-ass.
Taub: Foreman.
House: Interesting. You must be more worried than you look.

His name is Sarah. Cats are not named that. Women are. What the Freud is that about?


You're rapidly approaching end stage male spinster-ism.

House [to Wilson]

Masters: That makes no logical sense.
House: This is not a door to logical sense. Also, shut up.

Displaying all 9 quotes