House Season 5 Quotes
(seeing a photo of a fitness trainer) Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
Dr. Cuddy: Other doctors actually use their offices for crazy stuff like seeing patients. Not throwing a ball against the wall and calling it work.
Dr. Wilson: It's his process. That ball saves lives.
Taub: How come you haven't said anything about this?
Kutner: It's no big secret. I guess I'm just not very chatty.
Taub: You told us when you renewed your subscription to National Geographic.
House: I'm in an elevator, can't run away.
Dr. Cuddy: Can't run away anyway.
House: That's just mean. Why are we still together?
Dr. Cuddy: We are going to our office.
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.
Dr. Cuddy: Now that's just mean.
Dr. Cuddy: Any idea why we are getting half as many requests for you as usual?
House: Democrats' health care plan?
Emmy: When I got the surgery, I got healthy, and when I got healthy, I got happy.
Taub: I'm not sure you're happy, but if you are, being healthy didn't do it, being pretty did. Poop in the bedpan.
Why don't you hang out in the video store and tell everyone Kevin Spacey's Keyser Soze?
Dr. Cuddy: You faked a scientific miracle just to win a bet with Wilson?
House: Mmm, more an argument. I realize it would have been simpler to just fake the paternity test, but hey--Christmas spirit and all that.
Dr. Cuddy: I think you're confusing nice and evil again.
Anna: Jerk.
Dr. Cuddy: Uh, what was that all about?
House: Jamaican chicken recipes.
Whitney: We do other stuff in bed. Couldn't some of his sperm have made it up there somehow?
House: More likely, it came from the guy whose penis made it up there somehow, but... sure, anything's possible.
House: If I wanted gifts, I would just look deep into my patients' eyes and act like you. "Oh, I'm so sorry you're dying, Mrs. Moron. Of course I'll sleep with you. What I lack in skill, I can make up for in..."
Dr. Wilson: You'd just wind up insulting her. Perhaps calling her "Mrs. Moron."
House: You talked to Wilson.
Taub: He has very girly handwriting, by the way.
