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Marshall: I don't care if the dishes are done, if you care, you do it!
Lily: Well I don't care if you have an orgasms, if you care, you do it!
- Permalink: I don't care if the dishes are done, if you care, you do it! W...
Aw look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes and thinking you're playing with the big boy is adorable... Son, I've been in a relathionship since you had a ponytail and you were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio, I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub at one hand and, brew a kick-ass pot of camomile on the other that would make you weap. Hell, I've forgoten more about microwaving fat-free pop-corn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever now but, thanks for your concern rook.Marshall
- Permalink: Aw look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes and thinking y...
Robin [about their old neighbors bagpiping]: They're old?
Ted: Really old
Robin: So what did you do?
Ted: I didn't have the heart to tell them to stop, because, hey, good for them. So I just sat down, had a hard candy, nodded politely at some racist comments and left
- Permalink: They're old? Really old So what did you do? I didn't have ...
There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why waste it on talking?Barney
- Permalink: There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why w...
Why is there bag of panties labeled "April 2006" in your closet?Robin [to Barney]
- Permalink: Why is there bag of panties labeled April 2006 in your closet?
Barney: Robin and I have been keeping track of how many beds we've had sex in. We've had sex in 83 and a half beds
Ted: A half?
Barney: 19th century ottoman in an antique space
- Permalink: Robin and I have been keeping track of how many beds we've had s...
Robin: Okay, this is ridiculous. I can't believe these two are still bagpiping
Ted: Enough! It's been six hours1 It must be that new tantric bagpiping that Sting is into
Robin: She keeps yelling at him to play the bigpipes louder, but it sounds like she's bagpiping him pretty hard. There's a glass of water in my bedroom that's vibrating like Jurassic Park
Ted: You have neighbors, so shut the bagpipes up!
- Permalink: Okay, this is ridiculous. I can't believe these two are still b...