How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother "Drumroll, Please" Quotes

Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down."
Lily: Yea I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: A drum roll?! That's it? So what you just said good night, came home and performed a drum solo?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney [on the phone]: This better be good. I'm about to enter Nirvana. By the way I should get you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say whaaaat
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claudia: What was her name? Was it my fat cousin, Lindsay? Don't be embarrassed, she has pretty eyes
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily [about the wedding bouquet]: It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Great I'm gonna need you to call her for me.
Barney: You know I won't.
Ted: Why not?
Barney: Because we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day, I have to wait at least like...forever, Oh Snap! Never gonna call her
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you?
Marshall: It haunts me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: Maybe she was a ghost. That's why she didn't want to kiss you because you'd pass right through her and get really cold for a second. Oh my God, I just had a great idea for a screenplay.
Ted: Marshall, she was not a ghost.
Marshall: I know she wasn't a ghost. She picked up a bouquet proving she had corporeal form
 • Rating: Unrated

Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real.
Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there, I'm not gonna lie to you, big time thunderbolt.
Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.
Ted: Sadly, not out of character
 • Rating: Unrated

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