Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

There's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you!

Barney [about Canadian $5 bill]

Canada's not so bad. If they play their cards right they may even become a state one day

Barney

...to prove you are as American as apple pie and the childhood obesity it leads to...

Barney

Robin: How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?
Barney: It's Canada. Question one, do you want to be Canadian? Question two, really?

We were like Lewis and Clark, if Lewis and Clark peed in water bottles and had a bong made out of a cantaloupe

Ted [about him and Marshall]
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