Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Red: Victoria keeps tampons at my apartment.
Robin: Damn it!

Kids, when you're in a new relationship and you're competing with your ex for who's happier, it can get ugly.

Ted

Robin, I spent seven grand on merch. This is happening.

Barney

Sorry about your eye. I'm available.

Barney

That can never happen again.

Barney

That blonde at the bar looks as loose as my molars.

Barney

Does anyone have six 9-volt batteries?

Marshall
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