You look gross when you cry. You know that?

Ted

Oh my God, you have a monocle! Is this real? Is this really happening? Good luck killing James Bond.

Ted

Ted: If I wanted to make it personal, I'd call you a bored little trophy wife who likes to play activist when the shops on Fifth Ave are closed.
Zoey: You're going down.
Ted: Down where? To the yacht club? I'd love to, but wait I'm half Jewish, is that going to be a problem?

Zoey: Ted, this is my husband.
Ted: So Captain how did you get that name?
The Captain: I gave it to myself. A real man chooses his real name.

Robin: You wanna dance? Let's dance.
Barney: I live for the dance
Robin: Get your other hand, off my ass.
Barney: Sorry, sorry.

I didn't realize you were small potatoes, and to be clear I am referring to your testicles.

Robin

So, naturally I snapped the rip off of a triceratops, bloppidy bloppidy blue, I knocked down the whale.

Barney

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 8 Quotes

I didn't realize you were small potatoes, and to be clear I am referring to your testicles.

Robin

So, naturally I snapped the rip off of a triceratops, bloppidy bloppidy blue, I knocked down the whale.

Barney