How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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What kind of name is Zoë? What is that short for Zoseph?

Ted

Lily: We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops!
Marshall: Ted's a son of a bitch!

Hey, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd take you up on that beer you're about to offer me.

Zoë

It was actually pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword, so that she could fall on mine.

Barney

That family tree of yours has a couple of pretty big coconuts. We had a pretty good time last night and then just hand stuff in the morning so.

Barney

I'd say hump her brains out, but somebody obviously already has.

Ted

I just had a great TV audition, behind the KFC where the producer works on the weekends. Long story short, I'm going to be on LOST.

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