How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Zha Zha Gabor still looks good.

Barney

I'm gonna die alone. Ted's gonna be eaten by cats!

Barney

One word. Made up. Douchepocalypse!

Barney

So, funny thing about Willem Dafoe. His name sounds like it's being spoken by a frog, then a parrot. Willem. DA-FOE! Willem. DA-FOE!

Marshall

Barney: Ted, you are out of the gang FOREVER!
Ted: I'll see you guys tomorrow?

Marshall: Aww ... Lilllly ... babieeeeees!
Barney: I hope Ted is miserable right now.

You leave me no choice. If you have a daughter, the MINUTE she turns 18 ... GONNNNNNNNNG!

Barney

Barney: Rule #83. If anything coming out of that child's mouth lands on me, I get to touch Lily's boobs.
Marshall: Dude, what is it with you and my wife's boobs tonight?

[thinking while reading poetry] I sound kind of douchey. I can't stop myself!

Ted

[to Ted] Marisa Heller ... she sounds hot. Describe. Face, hair, boobs? Start with boobs.

Barney

Barney: Hey, Marisa Heller! Barney Stinson. Do you remember me? We met at a convention for bird owners.
Marisa: That's not possible.
Barney: Wicker lovers.
Marisa: No.
Barney: Stinson out!

Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!

Displaying all 12 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 22 Quotes

Barney: Hey, Marisa Heller! Barney Stinson. Do you remember me? We met at a convention for bird owners.
Marisa: That's not possible.
Barney: Wicker lovers.
Marisa: No.
Barney: Stinson out!

Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!