Eight years ago I made an ass of myself chasing after you and I made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then. I have no regrets because it led me to something I wouldn't trade for the world, it led to you being my friend. So as your friend and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself. I say to you, from the heart, get the hell out of this car.

Ted

Lily: Okay but hurry, or I'm gonna start doing number eleven on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates bitch!

Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 12 Quotes

Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.

Lily: Okay but hurry, or I'm gonna start doing number eleven on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates bitch!