How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Student: You just wrote "Maggie" on the board?
Ted: Oh. That? No. It stands for: Make ... adjustments ... go ... get it energized!

Student: We get you for the full hour.
Ted: Oh come on. Who really wants to sit here and listen to me blab about bridges for an hour? [hands go up; Ted is moved] Really?!

Barney: [on phone] Ten minutes and the window's closed.
Ted: What? Ten minutes?!
Barney: Because we're bros.

I work for Goliath National Bank, the most evil place in history!

Marshall

It's not that the wings are too hot, it's that I already had wings earlier. Much earlier.

Old Marshall

Ted: I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing but I think I'm ready again.
Barney: Yeah...let me tell you were I'm at.. I want to have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls.

Jim: I've been in love with her for five years.
Ted: I've been in love with her for twelve years.
Barney: I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half.

Barney [to random girl]: Hey.
Robin: Oh, he's not saying hello, he's just telling you what he feeds his horses. Oh man, I could sit here and make "you look like a farmer" jokes all night. Challenge accepted.

No one, I mean no one could get laid wearing these. Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, of sound mind and amazing body will wear these overalls until have sex with a woman.

Barney [about Marshall's overalls]

Ted: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.

Ted: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
Marshall: Lily.
Robin: Mike Shacks.
Barney: That girl over there.

Displaying all 11 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Ted: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.

Ted: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
Marshall: Lily.
Robin: Mike Shacks.
Barney: That girl over there.