Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Robin: Thanks for coming by. I monkeyed around with the thermostat for about an hour before I realized it was the intercom.
Marshall: Yeah, I heard you swearing downstairs

Ted: Can't you just leave the place open a little while longer? We'll keep an eye on things.
Carl: You two? No way, you wouldn't know the first thing about running a bar.
Barney: Serve the hotties first?
Carl: Here's the keys

Ted: We should buy a bar.
Barney: Of course, we should buy a bar!
Ted: We should totally buy a bar.
Barney: We should totally buy a bar. Our bar would be awesome. And dude, dude, dude, dude... the name of our bar... Puzzles. People will be, like, "Why is it called Puzzles?". That's the puzzle

Ted: So, how many people are in on this Party School Bingo thing?
Barney: Oh, it's just me.
Ted: So what's the point, then?
Barney: The point is to get five in a row.
Ted: And what do you get when you get five in a row?
Barney: I get Bingo

Brunette: I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth out there.
Ted: Dibs.
Blonde: It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad—before he left.
Barney: And dibs

Robin: I still say this is stupid. What happened to, "As we mature, the relationship matures with us?"
Marshall: That's just something Lily read in Psychology Today. Alright, she read it in Cosmo. Alright, I read it in Cosmo. Alright, it was CosmoGirl!

Lily [on the phone]: Hey, baby. It's lunchtime, and I love you.
Marshall [on phone in front of co-workers]: I reciprocate in principle, although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end.
Lily: No, I love you more.
Marshall: Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out? (pause) Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need to adjust my briefs

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