How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Ted: Why can't we go to McClaran's?
Barney: McClaran's is boring. Let's go to the strip clubs. We're gonna go out, we're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. phone five!
[Barney does a high five with his cellphone.]
Future Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.
Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't phone five Ted! [while motioning with his hand] McClaran's is this much fun. But what I'm offering is the chance to have THIS much fun!
Ted: [also using his hands] See, you always say that, you always say it's gonna be THIS much fun, but it always ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe.
Barney: This whole hand signal thing doesn't really work over the phone, does it?
Ted: No, it doesn't
Ted: Don't say legendary. You're too liberal with the word legendary.
[Flashback...]
Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's going to be legendary! Snowsuit up
Robin: Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes.
Lily: Unless it's the end of the night, then you get on anything!
Future Ted: I had no idea how Barney redirected the cab without me knowing but we got out, Dana let us in, and by God, we licked the Liberty Bell. And, you know what it tastes like?
[cut to MacLaren's]
Girl: What?
Ted: Freedom. No, actually, it tastes like pennies.
Girl: My God. Did you guys really do that?
Future Ted: We really did. And that was when I realized why I hung out with Barney. I never got where I thought I wanted to go, but I always got a great story
Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport you meant you were going to pick someone "up" at the airport?
Ted [to Barney]
Barney: Ted, get in the cab. Marshall, you too.
Marshall: Uh I wish I could but I think me and Lily...
Barney: I understand. [to Ted] Come on!
Ted: Why can Marshall say no?
Barney: Uhh, because he's getting laid.
Marshall: Consistently
Random Guy: So where are you from, heaven?
Robin: That's right, I'm a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, kinda like that pick-up line.
Lily: Hey-Oh!
Barney: Now, Ted, you can either put the bags on the carousel, or you can wait and listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel.
[Ted doesn't move]
Barney: ...Ted, since the dawn of time, Man has struggled...
[Ted takes the bags and puts them on the carousel]
Ted: If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yourself.
Barney: No, it has to be the two of us.
Ted: Why? Why do you need me?
Barney: Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno
I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far one, one gay dolphin
Lily
Marshall: Back off, hombre. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this, guy? Be my guest.
Lily: Marshall, he's gay.
Marshall: Oh, thank God, I've never been in a fight before
Robin: Lily's phone.
Marshall: Robin, where's Lily? Is she talking to some hot guy? Well, you can tell me, it's totally cool, it was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off.
Robin: Really? I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it, yeah, it's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and...
Marshall: No, don't interrupt, it's awesome. So, the ring's really off. Awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she's... awesome. [hangs up phone] Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. Can't breathe
