I thought you were different. I thought you were a good person. And I thought you were pretty fucking cool. And you know what? You turned out to be none of those things.


Find a new co-manager, Ray. Find a new third base coach. Find a new friend.


Lenore: I'm so glad we could hang out Patty. I called you so many times but you're always so busy.
Patty: I didn't even know you were trying to get a hold of me. I didn't get any messages.

Tanya: Are those your kids?
Charlie: So she says.

I watched the ball fly and I watched it fade, and everything stopped. And as home grew closer and my team waited there for me to cross the plate I realized...that my shoulder was f*cking killing me.


You never notice guys like me and now guys like me...we rule the fuckin' world.


Ray: You ever think Ron, maybe she's allergic to you?
Ronnie: Fuck you!

Jessica: Don't you wanna know why I'm unhappy?
Ray: You're unhappy?

I'm a person, not an ATM machine.

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