Since taking an early retirement from the hubcap business, Carlos has gone a little hippie granola. In addition to his alpacanomics, he fancies himself a bit of a shaman.

Marshall

Stan: She buy it?
Marshall: I think so. She just hung up without a sarcastic comment.

"For two days I sweated through sweat pants which is harder than it sounds."

Marshall

A child is going to be who a child is going to be.

Mary

The sign of a healthy compromise. Everybody's pissed.

Stan

It's one baby. I'm not having puppies.

Mary

I have no idea on what it takes to make a good parent but I've got a pretty good handle on what it takes to make a bad one.

Mary

Single mothers are super heroes but I don't want to be one.

Mary

Mom, are we seriously going to have this warm and fuzzy catch up in front of all these other weeble wobbles?

Mary
Displaying quotes 28 - 36 of 87 in total