It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 1 Episode 4: "Charlie Has Cancer" Quotes
Dennis: What's the one thing that Charlie never gets?
Dennis: I don't get it, Dee: There are tons of women in this city; where do they go?
Dee: They're at velvet-rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
Dee: Dennis, our bar is in south Philly in a scary alley...might as well call it "Rape Bar."
Charlie: Look, the girl, she wears a Lance Armstrong bracelet, OK? So I tell you I have cancer, right? Then you're gonna tell her, she's going to feel sorry for me, we're going to start dating, and that's the way the lie works!
Dennis: That's a horrible thing to do!
Charlie: Well, I'm a bad guy then!
Dennis: You are a bad guy! You lied to us!
Charlie: All right look at this, sometimes you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
Dennis: You've got to crack a couple eggs to make an omelet?
Charlie: Yeah, you gotta crack an egg.
Dennis: So you're throwing down life lessons now?
Charlie: I'm throwing down eggs!
Dennis: Class is in session, the teacher's teaching class now!
Charlie: I'm cracking eggs of wisdom!
Carmen, you got the most amazing body. Are you bulimic or what?Mac
Mac: Is that a penis in your pants?
Mac: You lied to me.
Carmen: No, I didn't. You lied to me. You don't workout? Please! I've seen you at the gym. You're ripped.
Mac: No, don't turn this around -- wait, really? You think so?