It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its always sunny in philadelphia
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Me, too. I did my hair good and I wore two colognes.


Charlie: You think you're a god? I'm the one who's thriving! Look at me.
Dennis: You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch.

Frank: Thanks for coming. A little overdressed.
Dee: You said it was a classy affair, Frank
Frank: It was 'til you showed up.
Dee: You bitch!
Frank: Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight?

Mac: Dennis, how does this make you feel?
Dennis: Powerful.
Mac: Yes, of course. But, how does it affect you sexually?
Dennis: I'm very aroused right now.
Mac: I, too, am aroused.
Frank: I'm startin' to swell up.

Mac's a soiled fool and I'm a gorgeous girl with big cans and I'm bangin' all the fisherman for their fish and I'm being catty with all the women in the game like a real housewife.


Dee: I'll make you my king. Just accept my request to consummate.
Charlie: Consummate? What is that?
Dee: Have sex.
Charlie: Oh. So, um... we should have sex then?
Dee; In the game.
Charlie: Yeah, in the game. So, uh, push enter hard? Or one slow push and you do your thing?
Dee: just push the button, Charlie.

Charlie: I'm getting sick of this shit. I really am. You keep treating me like a dumb-dumb and a grunt. I have potential, ya know. I could go places. I could do things. Who knows? I might even rule the world someday.
Dennis: Rule the world, huh? Yeah, if that happens, I'll blow myself.

Dennis: Real women don't even look like that.
Dee: Hey, guys!
Dennis: That (*points to Dee*) is what real women look like.
Mac: Dee, are you sick?
Dee: No! I feel great. I haven't been able to shower in a couple days. I've been gaming like a loon.

Mac: Fight Milk! The first alcoholic dairy based protein drink for bodyguards!
Charlie: By bodyguards! I drink it every morning so I can fight like a crow.

Dennis (to himself): Alright, Lefeve, time to put your money where
your mouth is. Time to kick things up a notch. (turns back to
shirtless tiny Asian boy while unzipping pants)
Tiny Asian Boy (now wearing caddy uniform with golf clubs in front of
him): So, only the one set of clubs?
Dennis (surprised): Yes! Clubs! You're a caddy. This is a golf
(motions with hand) yeah! Good! (re-buckles belt) That's better than
what I was about to - (laughs) Lemme, uh - gimme a minute, I need to
switch gears, I almost - yeah.

Charlie: What do we build?
Frank: We don't build anything. Leave that to the chinks! Speaking of
which, I want this sushi dinner to be the tits!
Charlie: Okay, so you want it to be really expensive.
Frank. No! No! I mean I want to eat it off some Jap broad's tits!

Dennis: How's it going to reflect on me if I promote my bodyguard to
VP after talking to him for 2 minutes at a ballgame?
Mac: It won't reflect on you at all, because you're not Brian Lefeve.
Dennis: I'm not what?
Mac: Dude, you were floundering.
Dennis: I was gathering information so I can more fully become this
man. This has become much more than business. This is about the thrill
of wearing another man's skin. Feeling his innermost wants and
desires. And being in control of his every single move. That's how you
get off. Don't you guys want to get off with me?
Mac: I don't know.
Dee: What?
Dennis: I want you to get off with me. Just follow my lead. 'Cuz we're
gonna get off together. (bites his lip)

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 489 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?


Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.