Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Mac: I'm not going to sit down until you say something nice to me. For once in your life.
Dennis: Your hair is small.

Wait! There's more. There's an old short fat man here. He sat with his young sleeping partner. Bring them a glass of the house red from us.

Dennis

My eyes slant down. I don't have a good peripheral.

Mac

Me, too. I did my hair good and I wore two colognes.

Mac

Charlie: You think you're a god? I'm the one who's thriving! Look at me.
Dennis: You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch.

Frank: Thanks for coming. A little overdressed.
Dee: You said it was a classy affair, Frank
Frank: It was 'til you showed up.
Dee: You bitch!
Frank: Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight?

Mac: Dennis, how does this make you feel?
Dennis: Powerful.
Mac: Yes, of course. But, how does it affect you sexually?
Dennis: I'm very aroused right now.
Mac: I, too, am aroused.
Frank: I'm startin' to swell up.

Mac's a soiled fool and I'm a gorgeous girl with big cans and I'm bangin' all the fisherman for their fish and I'm being catty with all the women in the game like a real housewife.

Frank

Dee: I'll make you my king. Just accept my request to consummate.
Charlie: Consummate? What is that?
Dee: Have sex.
Charlie: Oh. So, um... we should have sex then?
Dee; In the game.
Charlie: Yeah, in the game. So, uh, push enter hard? Or one slow push and you do your thing?
Dee: just push the button, Charlie.

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