It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes

Charlie: OK, OK. First of all, there are people out there who actually have been molested and you guys are going to exploit that for your own personal gain? You assholes are securing your places in hell.
Ryan: We've thought about it. We're willing to roll the dice.

There are, like, so many medals in there, dude. This guy was probably like King nazi.

Charlie

Charlie: I'll tell you what. I'll go with you, but you have to let me borrow your car any time I want.
Dee: No
Charlie: Every now and then...
Dee: No
Charlie: One time.
Dee: All right.
Charlie: And, you have to take me to lunch twice a week for a year.
Dee: No, I don't.
Charlie: Once a week.
Dee: Mmm-mm.
Charlie: Today.
Dee: Okay

Great. Great for you. You must be really proud of yourself. Awesome, (hands Dennis a photo) your grandfather's a Nazi.

Mac

I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.

Dee

Dee: Oh, you are being ridiculous. He's a professional football player.
Mac: No, look, I'm not talking about killing the guy. I'm just talking about going up there with a group of dudes and intimidate him, maybe break his arm.
Dee: You can't break Tom Brady's arm.
Mac: Oh yes, I can! No more Super Bowls for that pretty boy.

Dee: We talked about it, and we decided that we need to get rid of that gun.
Dennis: Oh, oh, the gun...yeah, we're getting rid of the gun.
Mac: You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you.
Charlie: Okay, good, yes, I think that would be for the best... ah...mm...Dee, could you get me a nurse?
Dee: Yeah, sure. [exits]
Charlie: Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun.
Mac: No way!
Dennis pulls gun out of his pants]: Never.

If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would've killed it.

Dennis

Mac: You are such a dildo, dude.
Dennis: Thanks, dude, thanks. That's a good way to start the day.

Mac: We need to be rational.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Mac: Okay, I thinks it's clear what needs to happen.
Dee: What?
Mac: We need to buy a gun!

Oh my God, Charlie, I shot you in your head! I am so sorry!

Dennis

Charlie my boy, you got the gun fever.

Mac

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.

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