Good things happen in really messed up ways sometimes.


I don't know how many times I can keep saying I am trying.


Not a single person ever in sixteen years wanted me.


If you really want to be a father, start acting like one.


Despite what it sounds like, you don't actually drink your date people.


Ryan: Those mom jeans kind of turn me on.
Cate: There not mom jeans their high wasted.

(to Ryan and Cate) I wish you guys would wake up and realize you are perfect for each other.

Sales clerk

So if a guy is thirty and single he has standards and if a girl is thirty and single she has issues.

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