I'm a doctor. I can spot a statistically average masturbator from a mile away.

William

I need this to go well. Because if it doesn't, I'll have lost everything.

Bill

You wanna keep the title George? You got it. All I want is the job.

Ethan [to George]

What you've got Lillian is a bad case of penis envy.

Virginia

Can't seem to get away from vibrators now, can I?

Virginia

Twenty three times. They must've fallen in love. Did they fall in love?

Libby

Libby: When do you stop feeling like you've got something to prove?
Bill: There's always something to prove.

Gravity pulls them towards earth but the earth keeps curving away underneath them. They’re not actually floating. What they’re really doing is falling.

Margaret

You did always say we couldn’t let emotions cloud our judgment, but you did. Which means it was never really about the research, no we were having an affair.

Virginia

At the end of the day, if you’re facing global annihilation, you can only be accountable for yourself.

Jane

Jane: You know the film you’re shooting won’t survive a nuclear attack. Nothing will. Just cockroaches.
Lester: And Godzilla.

Your patients adore you. They get pregnant just so they can hang around your office!

Virginia [to Ethan]

Masters of Sex Quotes

I think women often confuse love with physical attraction.

Virginia

Women fake orgasms, maybe all of em. Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately

Betty