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Come on man, you keep this up I'm not gonna be able to do fat jokes. That's like half my repertoire.

Joe (to Owen)

We'd like to see an uptick in professionalism, and a down-tick in how should I put it...bull shit.

Owen

You're a sweetheart Joe, and I mean that in the gayest way possible.

Manfro

Terry: This still is our thing.
Joe: Okay fine. When she comes back I'm talking about my scrotum.

Joe: So if I got an issue with my, um, balls, she's okay hearing about that?
Terry: Do you have an issue with your balls?
Joe: I kinda do, yeah.

Bitch stole second.

Jesse

Joe: She's really good 'cause she played varsity.
Owen: Great.
Maria: And I'm a lesbian so...

God I hate your penis.

Owen (to Terry)

Joe: That's your breakfast? Yogurt?
Lucy: Yogurt is what girls eat, Dad.

That was close. Just won a hundred bucks. Woo!

Joe

You dug this big ass hole, and you're gonna fill it up.

Owen

You can't take away a guy's sale because he's a dick. Otherwise you'd still have zero.

Owen
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 32 in total

Men of a Certain Age Quotes

Manfro: I want my last meal.
Joe: Oh come on.
Manfro: I'm gonna be doing a lot of jokes like that so you better get used to it.

Erin: Old friend? She's not that old.
Terry: Actually she's 58.