Mondays 9:00 PM on CBS

Molly: Why don't you stay with your mom tomorrow night?
Mike: For the same reason I don't chew on tinfoil or try to kiss bears.

I told that woman I loved her, laid my heart out for her, and she chopped it up like we were at Benihanas!


Molly: That reminds me, make sure Victoria wears a bra tomorrow.
Joyce: I'll try, but it's like trying to keep a hat on a dog.

I look like a portly James Bond. Double - X Seven.


Molly: You're gonna kill him right? Please tell me you're gonna kill him.
Mike: If I say yes, it's premeditated.
Molly: Smart. I love you.

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