Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I was drunk, I'm not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

Jay

Claire: Little kids can be friends with old people, right?
Phil: Of course they can, there's tons of examples: Up, Gran Torino, True Grit..."
Claire: Cartoon, kills himself, she loses an arm. We've gotta go talk to that guy."

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