Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jay: I won't be able to hear her, she won't be able to see me.
Gloria: Well be together forever!

Well there was this girl on the 16-year-old team who wasn't wearing a bra, so that was cool.

Luke

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I mean how crazy is that!

Cam

Everyone knows you're not farm strong!

Pam [to Cam]

You'd rather kill your husband than admit you need glasses?

Jay

Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?

Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad

She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.

Cam
Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 10 in total